


Writing the Tides

by Thetkat



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Drinking, Drunkenness, Gay Keith (Voltron), Hispanic Lance (Voltron), Hunk (Voltron) is so Pure, I Keep Adding Tags, Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, Korean Keith (Voltron), Lance works at an aquarium, M/M, Ocean, Panic Attacks, Pining Keith (Voltron), Shallura if you squint, alternate universe aquarium, keith is a struggling writer, nyma and lance are a thing, nyma is here, pidge is nonbinary
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 18:15:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 26,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8855875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thetkat/pseuds/Thetkat
Summary: Keith is a university student and aspiring writer. The only problem is, he's been struggling with writer's block since basically the dawn of time. So in the midst of trying to figure out what exactly he's gonna do with all this "idiotic bs", he might have stumbled upon a whimsical aquarium, and a Cuban heartthrob who might've ended up being Keith's writing muse.





	1. Agraphia (n.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Agraphia (n.)- the inability to communicate through writing.

Keith had writer's block.

And it wasn't your run of the mill writer's block either. Keith legit could not write. "You have writer's block", Shiro told him for the hundredth time. 

"For the last time, I do not", Keith told his brother at the dining table.

"He has writer's block", Shiro muttered to Matt, their family friend.

I mean it wasn't like Shiro was completely wrong. Keith had barely passed his first semester writing final, and he hadn't written a single word over the break.

"How much longer are you gonna deny it?" Matt asked, "school starts tomorrow and Mr. Sennar isn't gonna be as lenient this year". 

Keith sighed, Matt was right. Matt was always right. His writing had taken a serious downfall over the course of the semester, and if it wasn't for his creative writing teacher's blatant favoritism, he would have definitely failed.

But, Keith was talented. He had always come through with his writing before. And he was sure he could come through now, even with his brain more stumped than ever.

He wished his brother and Matt goodnight, and headed to bed. He hoped his first day back at college would be okay. He sighed, letting the night wash over his restless mind, and hoped for the best.

Please, Keith prayed, just no surprises...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! My name is Tan and I absolutely adore Klance and so I thought, why not write a fic? This is my first actual fanfiction so I apologize for any cringe, cliches, and other embarrassing speech that this story might include lmao  
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy this story and stay a while, I'll do my best to update as often as possible! Thanks! ~Tan ♡


	2. Altruistic (adj.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Altruistic (adj.)- showing a disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others; unselfish.

"GET UP", Shiro shouted repeatedly, attempting to get his raven haired brother out of bed, "You're gonna be late".

Keith only groaned in reply, raising his head to his dark room. "But it's still dark", Keith whined.

"Its your fault for taking a class that starts at seven in the morning", Shiro stated, walking out of the room.

"Seven in the morning", Keith mimicked annoyingly.

"I can hear you!", his older brother shouted from the kitchen.

~

Keith, eventually, did get up, and enjoyed the breakfast Shiro had prepared for him. He was actually not a bad cook, and having graduated college the previous year, had time to tend to his younger brother. He almost refused to live with Keith, and even tried to find him another roomate, trying to get him to give up his introverted lifestyle. But, even if Keith would never admit it, Shiro knew that he was terrified of making friends. Why wouldn't it be? His trust had been broken again and again throughout the course of his life, with countless foster homes and lonely schools. And Shiro just couldn't bring Keith to deal with that. 'He's learning,' Shiro thought to himself, 'he'll leave that shell of his someday'...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OkaY so I apologize in advance for the short chapters. I'm trying to ease into the plot but hopefully I'll publish multiple short chapters at once to make up for the lack of writing xD  
> Thanks for everything! ~Tan ♡


	3. Metanoia (n.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Metanoia (n.)- the journey of changing one's mind.

Keith sat in his creative writing class with a tense mood. He'd been the first one to show up, asides from one other girl and the teacher, which was nothing new, and it gave him time to worry about the upcoming year.

He got out a sheet of paper and a pencil. As he stared at the blank void, he sighed uneasily.  
Why is this so hard, he thought to himself. As he traced his name onto the paper, his thoughts went back to the previous semester.

"These are...umm, a bit depressing", Mr. Sennar, his teacher, had told him. They'd been reviewing their semesters' work, trying to limit their weaknesses for their semester final, which was to submit a completely free ranged piece of literature.

"Not really", Keith argued.

"Keith, you kill off every single character you create", his teacher debated.

"Nuhuh", Keith denied, Mr. Sennar raised his eyebrows. "I didn't kill off the cat..."

Mr. Sennar sighed.

"They're me", Keith stated bluntly, he'd knew his works were a bit emotionally heavy, but he wouldn't go as far as say they were depressing. And besides, art was supposed to reflect how they felt, and Keith's life was far from sunshine and rainbows.

"They're who you think you are", his teacher told him, "Keith, you are so much more capable than this. You're limiting yourself. Stop it".

The pale boy avoided his eyes, he wasn't sure what to say. He'd planned on writing his final piece as quickly as possible, just to avoid Mr. Sennar's disappointment. 

As he faced the same teacher now, Keith felt uneasy. He'd recieved decent grades all semester only to barely pass the final with a 71. Keith had no idea know why, the piece he'd submitted wasn't even bad, and he didn't even kill everyone off this time.

I'll do better this year, he thought, I'll show him. 

As the once empty classroom now filled up, the bell sounded for class to begin. Mr. Sennar got up to welcome his students back from the break.

"Welcome everyone, I hope you had a nice vacation. As you know, second semester is not gonna be any easier than first semester. In fact, harder", whiney groans erupted from the class, the teacher continued, "you're going to now, not only, have prompt based hw due every other week, as well as class assignments, but I'm assigning your final today".

Keith's eyes widened, they hadn't even come back a single day before the pressure was setting in.

"I know, I know, strange but I hope by giving you the maximum amount you can give your absolute best work. I'm even assigning you words to base your work off of, so that we can really challenge your creative talents.."

'Great', Keith thought sarcastically, 'just what I needed'. 

"I've chosen random nouns and such for you each to draw out of a hat, we'll be going in alphabetical order.."

Keith's nerves were sky rocketing. 'A single word', he wondered, 'could make or break me'. 

Mr. Sanner continued calling out names from the roll, some students returned to their desks with gleaming faces of relief, while others held a cloud of demise over their heads. Keith bit his nails, a terrible habit he'd had since forever, in concern for himself. 'I wonder if it's too late to drop out...'

"Keith Kogane", Mr. Sennar called out, smiling.

The pale boy gulped, rising from his seat nervously. 'Okay, this can't be that bad, you're just gonna get a random ass word and you'll bullshit it into the story somehow' he reassured himself, as he reached into the bag.

He ran his fingers through the scraps of paper anxiously, praying that he'd get a somewhat decent word. 

He pulled out a single scrap, holding his breath as he undid the wrinkles.

His eyes fell on the single word scribbled with black ink, and his heart stopped.

'Fucking shit'.


	4. Dépaysement (n.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dépaysement (n.)- when someone is taken out of their own familiar word into a new one.

"Ocean. I got the fucking ocean", Keith muttered to himself, he was lying across his bed, shaking.  
His first day back had been perfectly legit, asides from the fact his writing final would have to be based off the thing he hated the most.

It wasn't like his hatred had come without cause. Keith just didn't have any good memories with water. 

He felt his eyes tear up at the horrid memories.

It was raining, Keith recalled. It was raining hard when it happened. 

His parents, his real parents, had told him they'd be taking a cruise. It was supposed to be fun. 

They weren't supposed to drown.

They weren't supposed to die.

They weren't supposed to leave their 10 year old son to defend for himself. They weren't supposed to leave him, stuck in a seemingly endless cycle of foster homes.

'I shouldn't have lived either', Keith used to tell himself constantly. The thoughts were coming back now, after being buried for so long.

So he did the one thing he knew he could do.

He called Shiro.

Shiro, being Shiro, saw this as a perfect opportunity to get rid of Keith's fears and "face them head on like the smart young man he was". 

Keith groaned at the universe's blatant hatred towards him and picked up his notepad.  
He jotted down words that reminded him of the ocean, to get his mind working.

1) Death

2) Parents

3) Lost 

4) Pretty terrible tbh

"Okay then", Keith stated, looking at his brief list. He clicked his pen in annoyance before calling it a day and turning on the t.v.

Right when he'd settled down on the couch his phone rang.

A familiar pale face shone through the screen. 

"Shiro?" Keith questioned through the speaker.

"Come outside, now" Shiro demanded, practically squealing.

Keith raised one brow curiously, before making his way through the door.


	5. Faodail (n.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Faodail (n.)- a lucky find.

"Okay what's going on?", Keith asked his excited brother. They were in Shiro's old mini van, that Matt and Keith constantly made fun of, and driving to the other side of town.

"Well, since you obviously needed some creative inspiration I thought...."

"Oh my god Shiro WHAT DID YOU DO", if Keith hadn't been nervous before, he sure was now. 

"Chill, it's not a big deal. Matt and I simply-"

"YOU GOT MATT INVOLVED?" Keith practically screamed. Matt Holt had been Shiro's best friend since pratically forever, so Keith knew that their mishevious attitudes would be the death of him.

"Will you calm down?", Shiro asked, Keith groaned in annoyance.

"See we're already here." Shiro stated, pointing to the building in front of them.

The building itself was beautiful, with grey-blue walls and a close proximity to the beach, it shone on the two brothers with a kind light. Altean Aquariums, Keith read.

"Alright, go inside", Shiro dictated with a proud smile.

"By myself?", Keith's voice cracked. 

"No, Matt's waiting for you. His sibling takes classes here so I thought I'd join you as well", Shiro hoped that Keith would listen, he thought that this could really be good for him.

"What kind of classes?" Keith was still anxious, he had never done anything like this before. 

"Just trust me", Shiro gripped Keith's shoulder gently, doing his best to calm his brother's nerves.

Keith breathed uneasily, making his way into the building before him. He entered through the glass door and found Matt almost immediately.

"Keith! How was your first day of second semester?", Matt was signing some papers, Keith assumed it was his admission forms, and he looked like he was almost done.

"Umm, it was okay I guess", Keith shifted uncomfortably, he'd always been a bit awkward.  
"Alright, Kat- I mean, Pidge will be getting out of class shortly. I'll ask them to show you around", Matt finished up the last paper and got up to the front table.

There sat an interesting looking mustached man, who was sorting through some files with a happy grin.

Matt sat back down, beckoning Keith to join him. Shyly, he did.

After about four minutes of Matt trying to start a conversation and failing, class released.  
A bundle of teens came out out of the door, each in swimgear and towels around them. One of them approached Matt and Keith happily.

They were short, wearing a green swimsuit, with shaggy brown hair that laid messily above their shoulders. They got out a wide set of glasses and were adjusting them when Matt introduced the two.

"Keith, this is my younger sibling: Pidge.", Keith had some idea of who this was, although never being properly introduced, he had heard plenty of stories from both his brother and Matt about the non-binary before him.

"Hey there. So, you're taking the adult classes I assume?", Pidge asked, drying their hair with a towel.

"Y-yeah I guess...", Keith still wasn't sure exactly what this place was. I mean, sure it was an aquarium but what kinda classes were these exactly?

"Well, let me show you around", Pidge threw their towel at Matt, who called out in annoyance, before heading back inside the door with Keith.

The pale boy looked in awe of the scene before him, so many colours and animals, all absorbed with life behind the clear glass. They each swam in indivuality, yet also aware of each other's presence. Keith had never seen anything quite like it.

"Pretty, huh?" Pidge asked softly.

"Beautiful", Keith was mezmorized.

"In that case, let me introduce you to Lance", Pidge laughed.

"Hmm?" Keith hadn't quite heard exactly what Pidge had said, being so distracted, but he before he could ask his new friend to repeat it, he was offered a new distraction.

A tall, tan man saundered into the room, his hair wet and pushed back, wearing a blue, Altean Aquarium marked, swimsuit. His skin pratically glowed in the room, and his smile beamed as he made his way to a wide-eyed Keith.

I mean, Keith had seen beauty. But not quite like this. And as the figure marched closer, Keith's blush only deepened.

"You called?", the figure asked Pidge proudly.

"Yup. This is Keith, your new student", Pidge nudged the boy, who shut his gaping mouth.

"The name's Lance", he said with a smirk, eyes twinkling as he held out a hand.

Keith shook his hand, expecting Lance to let go, but instead, the tan boy only gripped Keith's fingers and led him to the other side of the aquarium, Pidge following close by.

Keith blushed at the touch, they were holding hands for fuck's sake, and they'd met not even two minutes ago.

"So Keith, do you know anything about marine life? You will be taking classes about it after all.." Lance led Keith to what the raven haired boy assumed was his office. It was cluttered with papers and photographs. Pidge slouched lazily on the couch that decorated the room, fidgeting with their phone.

"No, not really..", Keith trailed off, studying the cramped collage of photos on the wall. 

Lance had 'fucking finally' let go of Keith's hand and was now sorting through some blue folders on his desk.

"Perfect!", the tan boy chirped, handing Keith a paper, "You start in two days. I suggest you go out and buy a swimsuit if you don't have one already and to bring some notebook and pencils".  
Keith looked down at the paper and identified it as his class schedule. 'Okay so class every two days, that doesn't sound too bad', Keith realized the schedule did include learning how to swim, but he decided he could worry about his irrational fears later. 

And as he watched the tan boy ramble on, he mentally added a new word to his ocean inspired list.

5) Beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gahhh this chapter was written at 6 in the morning because I couldn't sleep so I'm sorry for any mistakes. Also it was really cheesy tbh but aT LEAST MORE OF MY CHILDREN ARE HERE. Thanks for reading  ~Tan ♡


	6. Nepenthe (n.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nepenthe (n.)- something that can make you forget grief or suffering.

Keith had taken back everything about Lance he originally thought.

He hated that asshole. Or as he kept telling himself anyway.

"Come on! It's literally JUST WATER", Lance was trying to get Keith into the pool for the hundredth time, with no avail. He was standing on the five feet end casually, with his hands placed on his hips and an annoyed face.

"I-I can't!", Keith yelled, he was wearing some red swimming shorts with a loose tank top, standing on the ground uneasily. They were on their fourth lesson, and Keith still managed to avoid actually swimming. He was perfectly fine with writing notes and such, but everything else seemed to go hectic the moment he walked in. Not to mention, he was about 110 percent sure the sea animals had it out for him.

"You can! Just GET IN!", Lance had been his usual, calm self at first, allowing the other boy some space, but even he was getting aggravated now, with no idea why the pale boy in front of him was being so stubborn. None of the other students acted so brashly, and Lance wasn't afraid to tell Keith so.

"Just MAKE ME!" Keith kicked the water's surface, splashing the tan boy, who clenched his fists under the water. 

"You know what? Maybe I will..." Lance jumped out of the water swiftly, and a mischievous grin spread across his face.

Keith's eyes widened at the taller male.

"L-ance..?" Keith staggered backwards, eyes widening, he put his hands up in defense.

Lance glanced at Keith's legs, smirking as the pale boy realized what the other was thinking.

"You. Wouldn't." Keith voiced through clenched teeth.

"I would", Lance ran over to the shorter boy and picked him up, holding on tight as Keith fought.

"PUT ME DOWN!", Keith yelled, squirming and twisting, trying to loosen Lance's grip. He kicked backwards and escaped the boy's grip. He ran away as Lance clasped his gut in pain.

"OH I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT!" Lance chased after Keith, who was making circles around the large pool. Their lessons were mostly private, no one else came in asides from other workers, Keith looked around at the empty space. 'Good, no one will be here to see me when I kill his stupid ass'.

Keith panted as he tried to distance himself from Lance. He knew he couldn't run forever though, and with Lance being ninety percent legs, Keith was at an obvious disadvantage.

But Keith wasn't sure why he was running in the first place. Sure Lance was threatening to throw him into the pool, but he'd easily found that the boy was all talk anyways. Yet, Keith was petrified. There was something about the water, that just-threw him off. It was like looking into vastness, the stillness of the water protruding Keith's mind like a nightmare waiting to happen. He never trusted it. The stillness that is. Water, after all, wasn't still. It was fragile and strong all at once- allowing humans to live and breathe.

But die as well.

And Keith hated everything about it.

"GOT YOU!" Lance crashed into Keith's thoughts, picking him up again.

"LET GO!" Keith struggled once more, twisting and shouting.

Lance took a step, trying to balance with the furiously fidgety boy in his arms, and catch his breathe at the same time.

He took a step forward, not foreseeing that bare feet and wet pool tiles didn't mix well.

The boys yelped as they fell forward, colliding into each other.

They groaned in pain until realizing the position they were in. Lance had unconsciously pinned Keith to the ground, who was staring up at the other boy in disbelief.

'I could actually count his freckles', Keith thought before shaking the queasy feeling from his stomach. 'gah why is he so cute it'd be so much easier to hate him if he didn't look like that all the fucking time damn'.

Lance was rubbing his temple, which he bumped against Keith's shoulder before noticing he was still on top of Keith. His ears burned in embarrassment before he jumped away.

"I'm really sorry I didn't mean to- you know.." Lance avoided the pale boy's eyes, awkwardly looking around the empty pool place.

"Hey, it's fine. I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have messed with you", Keith coughed, unused to formally apologizing. Shiro never picked fights and always seemed to pardon his younger brother's behavior, even against his better judgement.

"Actually, yeah, you're right, this is totally your fault", Lance stated, scowling.

Keith gave Lance a judgmental look, before rolling his eyes. 'Welp the moment is gone gotta hate him again'.

They sat in silence for a bit, before the taller boy spoke up.

"You okay? You hit your head pretty hard.." Lance asked shyly.

"Oh, trust me, that was nothing", Keith had taken many beatings before. He had always been impulsive and somewhat reckless, getting hurt was something he was too familiar with.

His body could definitely take a beating.

It was his heart that was the problem.


	7. Dyspnea (n.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dyspnea (n.)- difficulty of breathing.
> 
> I took forever to find this word lol and it wasn't even the one I was looking for D;

"Okay...", Lance looked at him with an unreadable expression, "As long as you're okay.."

"Lance, I'm fine", Keith looked him in the eyes.

"Good," Lance took a look at the big clock on the wall, "Your lesson's over by the way."

Keith got up and walked out with Lance to the front desk. They found a group of people clustered there, one of which, was Allura, the owner of the aquarium. She, much like her name, was alluring. She captured the attention of everyone easily, with tan skin, beaming blue eyes and bright, white hair. Which, Pidge explained, she had dyed when she was younger. She wore one of the Altean marked swimsuits with her wet hair tied back in a high bun, and was talking with the fellow workers before the Lance and Keith marched in.

"There you are Lance!", Allura stepped out, greeting the tan boy. She held a bright smile while glimpsing at Keith, "Is this one of your students?"

"His name’s Keith and unfortunately yes", Lance glared at the shorter boy while Allura looked in shock.

"Lance!" she hissed, "Don't talk about your students like that!"

"What? The dude legit refuses to get in the water! He’s a real piece of work if ya ask me..” Lance argued.

“Yeah well no one is asking you and you’re not exactly exhilarating to be around either” Keith rolled his eyes.

Lance gasped while Allura laughed in the background. “W-well you’re…”

Keith raised his dark brows, “Yeah?”

“Y-you’re less exhilarating than me!” Lance stated before crossing his arms with a proud smirk, feeling triumphant.

“Ooo good one Lance!” one of the fellow workers stated. He was tall and broad with olive-brown skin. Keith had seen him tending to the aquarium animals on multiple occasions, but was too shy to introduce himself, despite how friendly the big guy appeared.

Keith scoffed and Allura glanced at him with an encouraging smile, “Don’t worry, you’ll get it. It’s scary sometimes but Lance will help you.”

Keith nodded, trying to escape Allura’s sudden attention. It wasn’t like he didn’t appreciate her kind words, he just felt a bit embarrassed at how long he was taking to confront his fears. He seemed to be so confident with everything else, but when his eyes gaze over the demeaning water it made Keith feel like a little kid again. He smiled back at Allura, silently promising to try harder.

“I’m Hunk, by the way,” Keith’s attention snapped back to the guy Lance was laughing with moments before. He had a hand stretched out with a kind grin, which Keith shook steadily.

“I’m not a teacher here, more or less a caretaker for the animals but…” Hunk held eye contact, “Maybe you could come over sometime? I live with Lance and we can both help you deal with your swimming problem.”  
Keith glanced at Lance, who wasn’t even attempting at hide his sulking, giving away that this invite was obviously not his idea.

“Umm,..I’ll think about it.” Keith confirmed. He wasn’t trying to turn Hunk down or anything, but he didn’t exactly love social outings, especially when it includes his disdainful teacher and a guy he’d just met.

“Nice!” Hunk laughed, “Let me give you our numbers.”

Keith handed him his phone while looking back at Lance, who was now joking around with the man at the reception desk, whose name, Keith had learned, was Coran. Pidge had told him that Coran was Allura’s uncle, and they handled the aquarium together.

Keith smiled, watching Lance interact with people other than himself. He noted that the tan boy was much more lighthearted around others, never frowning or showing any sign of scorn. ‘Why doesn’t he act that way around me...wait why do I care..’

“Done! Text us whenever,” Hunk smiled, which Keith noticed he did a lot. ‘It’s nice though…’ Keith thought to himself before his phone went off.

"Ah my brother's calling me, I'll see you guys later." The group nodded as Keith made his way outside.

 

* * *

 

"Ya'know you wouldn't have to come pick me up if you just let me take my bike." Keith was now in the van, talking while his brother kept his eye on the road. "No way. If mom finds out I'm still letting you use the bike after going to the hospital _twice_ it's gonna be MY head on a stick."

Keith laughed, "Please. With  _you?_ Mom would never.

"You do _not_ know what that woman is capable of. Also, why do you even need it? It's not like you go anywhere."

"About that..." Keith's eyes shifted to the road.

Shiro raised his eyebrows in curiosity.

Keith faltered, "I may or may not be going out with some people later.." 

Shiro eyes widened in joy, "Keith that's great! Oh my god, do I know them?"

Keith rolled his eyes at his brother's excitement, "Would you chill? It's just some people from the aquarium."

"Ohh...well I can drop you off." Shiro smiled contently. 

Keith gave him a look of disgust. " _Please_ no."

"What, why?"

"Well first off I'm in _college_ , I can get myself to places without looking like some fourth grader who needs their mom to carpool everywhere."

Shiro, taking complete offense, sulked about it. "Fine Mr. McRudyPants, you can take your bike. But if mom finds out I'm telling her you went out without telling me".

" _Whatever_ _Shiro_."

 

* * *

 

 

Two days later, Keith got a text from Hunk.

 

**Hey Lance and I are free tonight. Wanna come over?**

 

Keith winced. He instinctively thought about the dozens of excuses he could use; 'Too much homework', 'already made plans', 'family dinner', 'washing the cat'...

He stared at the screen indecisively. He could give an excuse, but Keith realized he kinda didn't want to. Sure he didn't know him all that well, but he liked Hunk. And Lance wasn't exactly _terrible_. He typed his reply hesitantly.

 

**Sure.**

 

He got a message two minutes later.

 

**Cool! Meet us in a few hours at 120 Montgomery Drive. It's in that circle of houses right by the aquarium.**  

 

Keith exhaled slowly, 'Okay so this is really happening...'

 

**Alright, see you later.**

 

* * *

 

Keith's heart stopped as he pulled up to the house. 

It was loud.

_Really_  loud.

He was just about to make a u-turn and head back home until a familiar voice called out his name.

"Keith! Is that you?!" 

Keith looked back to see a familiar figure standing in the front of the house. 

"Lance?" he croaked, taking off his biking helmet.

"Yeah," Lance marched closer until they were a few feet apart.

"Umm.." Keith put his bike into park, "Hi."

Lance laughed, "Hi."

They looked at each other awkwardly until Lance spoke.

"Are you...gonna come inside?" Lance waved his beer can towards the house. The riot only seemed to grow louder, and Keith was trying his best not to run away.

"To be completely honest, I don't know... I wasn't expecting so many people." Keith faltered, frowning at the party behind Lance.

"Oh, no it's just ten, maybe fifteen people...not that many." Lance fidgeted with his feet, avoiding eye contact.

"Still I'm not really-"

"Stay." Lance interrupted, looking up at Keith. His face was void of emotion, asides from his blue eyes, which shone even in the darkness of the evening before them. 

"What?" Keith asked, softer than the wisps of hair, falling onto his face.

" _Hunk_ , would be sad, if you- ya'know, left." Lance avoided Keith's eyes again, focusing his attention to his worn down shoes. His long hands scratched the back of his neck, awaiting the pale boy's response.

"Oh." Keith stated, almost like a question. He wouldn't say it, but he was thrilled that Lance had asked him to stay. He had no idea why he'd asked, recalling the obnoxious attitude he'd given him not even days before. But he did, and it made Keith happier than he'd dare to admit. 

Lance tilted his head, signalling Keith to follow him inside. They both, silently, made their way up the old pavement to the front door, which was unlocked. Lance led Keith to the living room, which was the core of the noise. It was dimly lit and the pop music blared from the gigantic speakers, blasting in Keith's eardrums. Lance moved through the front of the room and into the kitchen, letting Keith escape the cluttered space. 

The kitchen was wide, but much smaller than the other rooms. There was a small dining table and an island right between the stove and the oven, each with cupboards on both sides. They walked in to Hunk preparing some party snacks, "Lance! Keith! What's up?"

"Nothing much. You?" Keith replied, pulling out a chair from the table.

"Just making some food for the guests." Hunk was loading the island with various goods, shooing Lance off when he tried to steal some.

The tall boy propped up onto the kitchen counter, chewing on an Oreo he managed to grab. "Did you see Nyma?" he asked Hunk, who shrugged, continuing to stack the food. 

"I heard my name!" sung a feminine voice, dancing into the kitchen with beer cans in hand. 

"There you are babe!" Lance bounced off the table with a wide grin, approaching the tall girl. 

Nyma, as Lance called her, was no doubt, a beautiful girl. She had smooth, cream colored skin, with long, blonde dreadlocks cascading down her thin figure. She strolled up to Lance and enveloped him in a deep kiss. His hands wrapped around her tiny waist, right below her crop top, and kissed her back playfully. 

Keith felt his body go rigid, watching the couple flirt and play around. He couldn't peel his eyes away from the loving sight, his mind racing as his lips tightened. 'Is that much PDA _really_ necessary?', he thought as he crossed his arms.

"I'll be in the dining room," Nyma proclaimed, scratching her ear with her empty hand while walking out with a new can of beer. 

"Alright hon." Lance's eyes lingered after her, twinkling even after she'd left. "Isn't my girl great?" Lance asked, to no one in particular.

"Sure is lover-boy." Hunk laughed, shaking his head in amusement. "Now get everyone in here. Snacks are ready."

Keith realized how cramped the kitchen would soon be, and hurried to leave, being blocked by the crowd of people now trying to enter the small area. He was pushed back into the place, scrambling to get through and failing. Everyone was circling around him, entering his personal space as he fought to get free.

He felt his heart speed up.

' _Not now Keith_ ', he told himself, trying to steady his rapid breathing.

Some more people shoved through the crowd, everyone was talking and laughing, mixing into a noisy gibberish that Keith couldn't bear. He was pushed into the table by some drunk, singing girls. Everything was happening loudly and all at once. He felt time slow down and speed up at the same time, while struggling to catch his breath in a room full of air. He went numb but could feel everything around him, and he _needed_  to get out.

Keith _had_ to escape.

He finally pushed through into the living room, where some Ariana Grande song was still playing at full blast. He darted around, trying to find a clear, empty space. He almost considered rushing outside until he found the bathroom.

He ran in, locking the door behind him and facing the mirror. He was slightly sweaty, and he felt how clammy his hands had gotten when he ran them through his thick, raven hair. Keith tried to focus his eyes on his own image in an effort to calm his breathing. Keith twisted the sink knobs, letting the water cool down before splashing some onto his face. 

He yelped at a knock at the door.

"Keith?"

Lance.

"Are you in there?"

He was sweating again.

"Are you okay?"

Keith's heart stopped.

He was worried.

_Lance was worried._

He inhaled slowly before unlocking the door. Lance appeared before him, holding two plates of food. His eyes looked over the shorter boy's body, evaluating the situation.

"Oh my god," Lance set the plates next to the sink before resting his hands firmly onto Keith's shoulders, "are you alright?"

Keith exhaled.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! This one took me over 3 hrs to write lolol but it was loads of fun so I hope you like reading it as much as I did writing it... Thanks! ~ Tan ♡


	8. Alexithymia (n.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alexithymia (n.)- the inability to express your feelings through words.

"Don't worry, it's quiet up here." Lance navigated through the hallways slowly, with Keith close behind.

They entered a small room on the opposite end of the house, the noise of the party slowly fading as Lance closed the door behind him. It was a cream colored room decked with bright photos on the walls and posters of various tourist spots. In one corner of the room was the bed, adorned with bright, yellow bed-sheets and a large, stuffed lioness sitting between the pillows. On the other corner, there was an orange wheelie chair pushed under a large desk, which was covered in robot and Lego parts, with some food magazines scattered to the side. Keith also couldn't help but notice the various floral plants stashed in every free space.

"This is Hunk's room. It's the furthest from the noise." Lance sat down on the fluorescent desk chair, "You okay?" he asked, eyes fixated on Keith, who hesitantly sat down on the yellow bed in front of him.

"Yeah, yeah. Go back to the party or whatever." Keith's breathing was finally normal again, and being completely honest, simply wanted to go home. 

Lance was silent for a moment, getting up but stopping at the doorway, he looked back at the pale boy, observing Keith before speaking. "Is this why you don't wanna swim?" 

Keith froze before meeting Lance's eyes. He stared at the blue from across the room before giving a tight-lipped smile.

"Something like that." He stated softly, breaking the eye contact.

Lance nodded softly, moving to leave before stopping again. "You can leave, if you want..." he mumbled before heading out the door.

Keith was alone again.

He sighed, collapsing onto the bed face first. He screamed into the sheets before deciding he didn't want to be walked in on midst exasperation.

So he got up, making his way out the door and into the hallways until he was out of the house. 

Keith got on his bike and started to drive, until the noise left his atmosphere and he could finally hear himself think.

 

* * *

 

 

Keith sat on his bed with his legs stretched and his back against the gray walls, his laptop was balanced on his legs and he watched it with a stern face.

Keith had a writing homework due in the morning.

It was now a quarter past eleven and he hadn't even started.

Shiro yelled at him about procrastination an innumerable amount of times but by now had simply given up on his brother's work ethics. He'd get it done somehow.

He just had no idea how.

Keith took a deep breath, staring at the blank screen in front of him, before lowering his eyes to prompt homework his teacher had assigned two weeks prior. 

 

**Prompt #1- write about an intense feeling without mentioning the feeling itself.**

 

Keith rubbed his eyes, returning his view to his laptop. The teacher had started them off pretty simple, not to mention given them a brief guideline of how long he wanted the story and such, which Keith appreciated, but he still had no idea what he was doing.

He raced the tips of his fingers along the keyboard before stretching his neck back to stare at the ceiling. 

He closed his eyes and relaxed his mind, tuning out everything around him.

The cars outside, the buzz from the laptop, even the music he put on moments before.

He tried to clear his mind.

But then he thought about Lance.

His thoughts then rushed back to hours before.

When he was still at the party.

When he couldn't breathe.

Keith's head snapped back up and he quickly typed up the image in his head.

 

**My mind was intoxicated.**

 

He took a breath. "At least it's something." Keith thought out loud.

He cracked his knuckles before returning to the keyboard.

 

**My mind is intoxicated. I try to breathe, but my lungs occupy uneasy air.**

**The air of the people who surround me, crowding my thoughts.**

**The air of young troubles and unspoken sorrows.**

**The air of everything unpleasant presenting itself all at once.**

**The air**

Keith exhaled.

 

**My mind is intoxicated. I try to breathe, but my lungs occupy uneasy air.**

**The air of the people who surround me, crowding my thoughts.**

**The air of young troubles and unspoken sorrows.**

**The air of everything unpleasant presenting itself all at once.**

**The air that reeked of him.**

**What a dangerous smell, I think to myself, before collapsing entirely.**

**I never quite knew**

 

Keith blinked.

 

**You could drown on land.**

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I lack the talent to write for Keith so if you could just pretend his section was really good that would be great xD much appreciation ~Tan ♡


	9. Kairos (n.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kairos (n.)- a propitious moment for decision or action.

It was only Wednesday, and Keith was already done with the week.

Between swim lessons and college, life had been excessively busy- _especially_ creative writing. 

"Alright class, I'll have you know I've already graded half of your homework prompts. Most of them, were amazing. Others...took me by _surprise_..." Mr. Sennar glanced around the classroom. Keith tried to ignore the twist in his gut when they made eye contact.

Keith knew his piece wasn't _perfect-_ far from it. It was barely 3 pages long, and he finished at two in the morning, not even bothering to check for any spelling or grammar errors he knew were there.

But it was raw.

Pure, unfiltered, raw emotion.

Something he hadn't written about in a long time.

Something he hadn't _felt_ in a long time.

Keith decided, he was proud of the piece. Although he'd never admit it out loud, Keith had hit a rough patch. Although, undoubtedly, it was his greatest passion- it took a lot out of Keith to write. He felt his soul leave when he wrote. It was like he was tearing himself apart, swapping limbs for sentences, and organs for pages- anything to get _something_ onto the page. His heart pumped ink, running words through his veins.

 

 

His heart hadn't worked for a long time.

 

 

_'You know what...Fuck whatever anyone says, that piece was goddamn magnificent.'_

The bell rang, the students scattered from their desks like bees leaving a hive; while Keith, staggered slowly, taking his time to put away his supplies.

"Keith, can we talk?" 

Keith's eyes darted up to Mr. Sennar, who made no eye contact but instead stared down at a random story he was grading.

_'Shitting fuck that piece was a fucking disaster what was I thinking'._

"Yes, sir?"

Keith slowly made his way to the front of the room, digging his nails into the hem of his black jeans as he walked past the empty desks.

Mr. Sennar tapped to the paper he had printed out and was currently marking. Keith glanced at it and gulped.

 

**Keith Kogane.**

**Homework Prompt 1**

 

He winced as the teacher slid the paper over to him.

 

**A**

 

Keith stared.

And stared.

And then stared some more.

Until after about 3 minutes of prolonged silence, Mr. Sennar cleared his throat.

"It's an amazing piece Keith. You really went outside of your comfort zone, and let me tell you- it paid off."

"My comfort zone?" Keith questioned, eyes still glued onto his paper.

"Keith, your writing in the past has been good, but this has _passion_. And, don't mind me saying this, but I was started to think you were losing yours."

Keith looked up now, his dark violet eyes meeting Mr. Sennar's hazel ones.

"For writers like us," he smiled softly, "writing is our lives. But, what we often forget, is we need to _live_ to write." 

Keith nodded softly, thanking his teacher, before turning around to rejoin the rest of the universe.

 

* * *

 

 

"So, you write, huh?" Lance was looking Keith up and down, while Keith was taking notes on Daisy, the aquarium's biggest Beluga whale, from a power point Lance had pulled up in his office. Keith sat on the chair in front of the computer while Lance, instead of walking through the notes with him, was sprawled across his couch, legs dangling in the air.

Keith shot Lance a look of confusion, "What? How did you know?"

" _Well_ , you're pretty introverted, and everyone knows artists and writers are the most introverted people to inhabit the planet Earth..."

Keith scoffed.

"...but you don't have any paint marks or anything, so you're a writer. Right?" Lance grinned happily at his pun while Keith inwardly cringed. 

"Yes. And I'm not that introverted, so shut up." Keith continued to write.

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with being introverted. Introverts are great." Keith clicked to the next slide, trying to ignore Lance's distinctive voice.

"How would you know? All your friends are party people." 

Lance scoffed dramatically, before grinning.

"You're not a 'party people'. Aren't you my friend?" 

Keith looked up, expecting to catch Lance with his classic Cheshire-grin, legs dangled over the sofa in his signature lounging pose, all complete with his blue eyes, latched onto Keith.

Keith wasn't prepared for the opposite.

The tan boy was sitting with his long legs to his chest, his arms gripping them from the side. He rocked back and forth slightly with a soft smile on his face. His lips pouted slightly into a kind, almost nervous, expression as he awaited his answer.

Keith didn't know how to react. In the short time he has known Lance, he had never seen him so...

 _Vulnerable_.

"First of all- it's party person, it wouldn't be plural..."

Lance rolled his eyes, undoing his current position and laying back flat against his sofa.

"..and yeah, we're friends" Keith coughed.

Lance looked back up, smirking. "Well...then I, Lance Alejandro Rodríguez, humbly accept the position, of _possibly your only friend..._."

Keith rolled his eyes irritatingly.

".... _And_ as your friend, it is now my soul duty to teach you how to LIVE."

"Excuse me?" Keith looked up, raising his eyebrows at the energetic boy across from him.

"YOU HEARD ME" Lance sprang up from the couch in declaration, yelling to his heart's content. Keith winced at how loud he was, but Lance either didn't notice or didn't care, as his rant continued. 

"YOU ARE OFFICIALLY MY FRIEND AND I WILL MAKE SURE YOU HAVE FUN WITH ME AND HUNK AND THE REST OF MY FRIENDS AND WE'LL EXPLORE THIS WASHED UP TOWN AND THEN THE FRICKING UNIVERSE AND YOU'LL ENJOY IT GODDAMN IT." 

"That entire speech was a run on sentence", Keith wore a both confused and concerned expression.

Lance laughed before turning off the laptop in front of Keith and crouching down to meet the pale boy at eye-level.

"Friday night. I'll meet you here at 7" Lance perked up, smiling wide with buoyant eyes.

"Umm..sure-okay..." Keith croaked out, having been caught off-guard by Lance's sudden disregard to personal space.

"Perfect! Your lesson's over by the way."

Lance got up again and opened the door for Keith who shoved all of his things into his bag hastily.

Keith was almost out of the door when the Cuban boy's voice broke through his thoughts for the millionth time.

"I'LL CALL YOU!!" he could practically _hear_ Lance smiling.

Keith groaned.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK Y'ALL. :DD I'll try to be better with updates, life is just hard sometimes ~Tan ♡


	10. Ludic (adj.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ludic (adj.)- showing spontaneous and undirected playfulness.

Keith treasures his sleep.

He treasures it a lot.

Between being an insomniac, working hard to maintain his academic scholarships, trying to find a job, and these aquarium lessons that seemed to be constantly taking up more and more of his time- Keith was a busy guy.

One who didn't sleep as much as he'd like.

So if Keith was lucky enough to get the recommended eight hours of sleep, he'll likely kill anyone who gets in the way.

Lance, of course, hadn't gotten the memo.

As his phone let out an booming shrill in the middle of the night, Keith jolted awake. He barely got any phone calls, asides from his parents and Shiro, and none of them would be daring enough to call him midst his much needed rest. 

He suddenly felt a surge of panic, what if something was wrong? Maybe someone got hurt? He scrambled for his phone, rushing to answer.

"Hello?!" Keith answered in a panic, not bothering to notice the unknown number.

"Mullet! Is that you? What's up?!" A familiar voice yelled from the other side of the phone, way too loud and energetic considering it was two in the morning.

Keith pressed his temples, trying his best to follow the words that Shiro constantly told him.

_'Patience yields focus, patience yields focus, patience yields-'_

"Hello?" Lance's voice called out loudly again.

_'Fuck patience'._

"Why. The shit. Are you calling me. AT FUCKING TWO A.M.!" Keith yelled into the phone, he could hear Shiro grumbling from the other room, obviously awakened. 

"Okay, whoa, don't need to get your panties in a twist, damn.." Lance muttered.

"Did you call me with a purpose or did you just decide to get a head-start on your daily annoyances?" Keith grumbled, obviously agitated with being awoken before the sun.

"Okay, first of all, rude. Second of all, we're outside your door and we were wondering if you wanted to come with."

"Wait, _what_?"

Lance ended the call with a beep, leaving Keith lost, tangled in his sheets with a confused look on his face.

He was deciding whether or not to call Lance again before his doorbell rang through the small apartment.

Keith could hear Shiro get up to answer it, he threw his blanket to the side before scrambling through the house. He could see Shiro stretching for the doorknob, he shrieked before racing to the door, tackling his brother.

"KEITH WHAT ARE YOU-" Shiro's voice muffled under Keith's hand, which he now held over his brother's mouth.

Keith hushed him, "Okay so there's a boy-"

 

* * *

 

 

Now, Shiro was probably more than twice Keith's size. Even when they were kids, Shiro always had the upper hand, so wrestling wasn't exactly a fair fight. Granted, Shiro would never use this advantage if he didn't think what he was fighting for was good for Keith. And at a mention of a boyfriend, Shiro was fucking ecstatic. 

Okay, so Keith didn't say boyfriend, _per-say_. 

But that wasn't gonna stop Shiro from immediately tossing Keith to the side, not even letting him finish his statement. and answering the door to play the _ultimate_ wing-man.

I mean what were brothers for?

 

* * *

 

 

At the end of the day, Keith loved his brother.

But throughout the day was a _very_ different story. 

"YOU FUCKING PRICK" Keith landed on his side after being thrown across the room by Shiro, who now scattered to get to the door, laughing maniacally at his own victory.

Thankfully, what Keith lacked in size, he made up for in speed.

He raced Shiro for the knob, beating him only by a fraction of a second.

Of course Shiro ended up pushing him aside anyways, leaving Keith on his ass against the carpet, as he opened the door and closed it behind him.

Keith was gonna kill his brother.

 

* * *

 

 

"Hello there!" Shiro exclaimed, shutting the door behind him to greet the friendly looking boy who stood before him, trying to sound like he hadn’t _just_  been wrestling his younger brother for the doorknob, mere seconds before.

"Oh, hi! You are..?" Lance asked, curious about the handsome man standing before him.

"I'm Shiro. _Keith's_ brother." Shiro didn't shy from adding emphasis to his name, ever since Keith first came out to him, years ago, Shiro didn't tire from trying to get him a boyfriend, and this opportunity practically _threw_ itself at him. 

"Ah, I'm Lance," he nodded before breaking out his signature grin.

Shiro smiled back, _'He seems nice'_ , he thought to himself, before extending his arm to  shake the younger boy's hand, "Nice to meet you, Lance."

Lance smiled, which faltered for a moment when he noticed the arm stretched out for him. He didn't notice the metal underneath the older man's long sleeves before, but Lance's falter only lasted for half a second before he immediately shone a genuine, sun-like smile and shook his hand.

"Nice to meet you too Shiro. Now, if you don't mind me asking, may I speak to Keith please?"

Shiro smiled joyfully, _'W_ _ell he's got my blessing'_.

 

* * *

 

Keith was flipping out.

He stood there awkwardly in his red, plaid pajamas and black "MOTH-MAN FOR PRESIDENT" t-shirt he'd gotten for Christmas from Shiro.

_ 'I can't let him see me like this'   _ Keith thought, panicking about his lack of time to prepare.

He quickly jet back to his room, and picked up a simple gray top from the floor that looked decently clean, hurried into one of the dozen black skinny jeans he owns, and threw on his red, college sweatshirt. 

He inspected himself in the mirror, he looked pretty good considering he had five minutes and it was ' _too fucking early a'clock in the morning'_. He straightened his sweatshirt, thinking about combing his hair before thinking to himself, _'Who am I trying to impress anyway?'_

He sighed at himself before leaving his room.

He didn't _"l_ _ike"_ Lance. 

Did he?

I mean sure, the guy was attractive. But Keith thought lots of dudes were attractive. 

And many of those dudes weren't so obnoxious all the time, or bothered him in the middle of the night.

Many of those dudes also didn't have girlfriends.

But, many of those dudes also didn't go out of their way to make Keith feel welcome, nor have the patience to deal with his "fight or be fought" attitude.

"Whatever, I _don't_ like him like that, and I _don't_ care what he thinks of me" Keith told himself, before walking out of his room.

Seconds later he came back to grab his black ponytail and tied his hair up, cursing at himself for being a _'fucking loser'_   until finally reaching the door to his home, reaching for it slowly and turning the knob.

 

* * *

 

 

Lance was in love with Nyma.

It was clear to anyone how he passionately he felt about her, they could see it through his words, his actions, and most of all- his eyes. Lance's most vulnerable quality seemed to be his eyes- he could never get away with anything, his eyes were the direct gateway to his soul. And with the way Lance's eyes lit up whenever his girlfriend was around, it was obvious he belonged to her. And, just  like any person he'd ever been attached to in the past (platonic _and_ romantic) - Lance would likely sell his soul before _ever_ deliberately hurting them.

But, although Lance wasn't available, he wasn't _blind_ either. He knew an attractive person when he saw one.

And Keith was no exception. 

He looked especially cute right now, with his hair tied back rather than falling all over his face like usual. His sweatshirt seemed cozy on him, and Lance really wanted to hug him right now.

But Lance was a touchy guy. It didn't _mean_ anything.

I mean sure, the guy was attractive. But Lance thought lots of dudes were attractive. 

He also found lots of girls attractive. 

He was just being his bisexual self.

Right?

 

* * *

 

 

"So, you coming with?" Lance asked, he shoved his hands into the pockets of a green army jacket he was wearing and pivoted on his feet, awaiting an answer.

"Well I'm already up, _thanks to you_ I might add... _So might as well_.." Keith muttered.

"Hey! If I called you at any other time, it would've been too late, so you're welcome Mr. McGrumpy Mullet." 

Shiro looked between the two males, smiling to himself. "Ah- young lo-" 

Keith punched his brother in the gut to stop him from finishing his sentence. 

"Whoa, okay _violent._ " Shiro hissed, although laughing.

"You hang out with Matt too damn much." Keith said to his giggling brother, before turning around to follow Lance outside.

 

* * *

 

 

They walked out of the apartment complex to a blue jeep parked not to far from the gates, side by side without talking until Lance broke the silence.

"So, your brother.." Lance smiled softly.

"Ah, yes, my brother. Overall an amazing guy, except when he's not- which in that case he's an ass." Keith replied. 

Lance laughed, "Sounds like my older brother."

Keith looked at Lance with a small smile. He liked Lance's laugh, it was loud and abrupt, just like Lance. And Keith, although having trouble admitting it at times, did _like_ Lance.Just not like _that_.

 _'He's not even my type'_ , Keith thought to himself. 

"You got siblings?" Keith said instead.

"Oh boy, do I!" Lance laughed again. "One older brother, Luis, two older sisters, Camila and Wendy, and a niece and nephew, not to mention my dozens of cousins."

"That's a lot of people." Keith commented.

"Yeah, no kidding! We're a family of five by ourselves, but both my parents have like six siblings who each have around four kids of their own. We're kind of like a cult."

Keith snorted at that, "A cult?"

"Yup. Don't mess with the McClain's." Lance noted with a wink before opening the car door for Keith. 

"The McClain's? I thought your last name was Rodriguez." Keith asked, stepping into the jeep.

"It is. I've got two last names."

Keith raised an eyebrow in questioning.

"Ya, see.." Lance started the car, "My real dad was Alejandro Rodriguez. He was a real awesome, but never around. He was in the army, you know?"

Keith nodded, finding himself interested in Lance's past. 

"Well...he died in battle when I was like five or six. I don't remember a lot, I just remember we were at a really low point after that. We were going through lots of trouble, financially and emotionally. My mom had to work overtime, and my siblings started raising money too. My aunts and uncles were a huge help too, I don't know where we'd be without them..."

Keith felt his throat dry up all of a sudden, since when did their conversation get so _personal_?

"So about four years later, my mom meets this really nice guy. He was always amazing and really nice to us. He loved us like we were all his own children, and most importantly, he loved our mom. So when I was about fourteen, they got married. And to show that all of us were super accepting of him and loved him as our new dad, we signed adoption papers to legally have his last name. It was his wedding gift from us." Lance smiled softly, recalling the memories as he drove down the streets.

Keith cleared his throat, "That's, that's really sweet." He smiled, to show how much he meant it. He had only had a glimpse of this side of Lance before.

The side that made his heart skip.

"Yeah no duh, it was _my_ idea."

 _'And he's back',_ Keith thought, rolling his eyes.

"So what about you?" Lance asked innocently, keeping his eyes on the road as he continued the conversation.

"Me?"

"Your family?"

This was getting a little too personal too quickly, Keith didn't like to think about his old family. His _biological_ family.

He decided he could talk about something a little more comfortable to him.

"Well, I was adopted by Shiro's family when I was around nine years old. And they've been the best.." Keith smiled at the thought of his adopted family, "...It's only Shiro and I but sometimes Shiro just feels like an additional parent." Keith laughed.

Lance smiled widely, he never seemed to stop. "So about Shiro..." He held a more serious tone as his smile softened. "Would you mind if I asked about.."

"His arm?" Keith stated blankly. He was used to the questions, people never asked Shiro about it to his face. "Well when Shiro was about fifteen, they found malignancy in his right arm, and rather than letting it spread they decided to amputate it."

"Oh my god...I'm so sorry." Lance stated genuinely, his eyes were almost teary, and the sincerity of it all made Keith feel like he was choking on air. 

"Lance." Keith was glad his voice didn't showcase how shaky he felt right now. If the town didn't look so sullen at that moment, he would've sworn they were in an earthquake. "It's fine really. I mean, for God's sake Shiro was so fucking pumped. He pretended to be Astro-Boy for so damn long it's actually kinda sad."

"No!" Lance laughed, visibly more relieved. 

"I shit you not. He tried to convince the doctors to put _actual_ lasers into his arms.." Keith laughed alongside Lance.

He felt good.

He felt like he was in one of those teen dramas he always denied liking. The ones where the two love interests were in complete isolation, and they were having fun and laughing before getting lost into each other's eyes, and then a some romantic ballad would play, pushing them to realize they were madly in love and that somehow solved _all_ their problems....or some other corny shit like that.  

_'But you aren't in some rom-com, you're in the car with fucking Lance modern day Narcissus McClain. Get a hold of yourself you asshat'_

Lance was trying to stifle his giggling, which Keith found absolutely adorable, much to his own resent, when he asked another question. "So-" he giggled again, showcasing his small dimples which Keith couldn't help but love, "what about his scar?" 

Keith broke out the widest grin Lance had ever seen erupt on the pale boy's face. "You see, my mom used to own Satan's cat.."

It was a surprise Lance didn't wake up the entire town with his uncontrollable laughter.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I legit spent all day on this chapter but still didn't cover all the content I had originally planned (good job tan smh), but I actually like the length and pace it has going so far. I will however try my best to add another chapter (with everything else that was supposed to happen this chapter) by the end of this week. I'm trying to update AT LEAST every other week but life is so busy ;_; nevertheless, thank you guys so much ~Tan♡


	11. Kenopsia (n.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kenopsia (n.)- the forlorn atmosphere of an abandoned place.

"So I meant to ask before.." Keith turned his head to the tan boy next to him, "But where's Hunk?"

Lance turned another street corner, "Oh, he walked, he rants about doing it 'for the good of the environment' and stuff but truthfully, the dude gets crazy motion sickness...he can't even ride the teacups without hurling."

"Where are we going anyways?" Keith asked, trying to make sense of the each turn Lance took. He'd considered himself pretty great with directions, but right now? He had no clue where they were. Lance only winked, before finally parking near a cluster of stores.

"Here, put this on. I'm gonna head inside to meet up with Hunk, can you take the bag out from the back and bring it inside?" Lance tossed Keith a piece of dark fabric and rushed out of the car, leaving Keith stunned.

"What?" Keith asked, a little too late. He looked down at the maroon fabric, identifying it as a ski mask.

_'What the actual fuck.'_

 

* * *

 

 

"Lance I got your shit but I'm _not_ putting this on." Keith entered the store with the small bag like Lance had asked, holding the ski mask in the other hand casually.

Despite Lance entering in a moment before, the store looked completely deserted. Keith looked around to find the store reminded him a lot of the gas station stores he'd seen in movies. The walls were colorful, decked with freezers filled with coke, juice, and numerous other drinks. There were four, short aisles shelved with chips, candy, and other junk that Keith knew Shiro would despise. Keith surveyed the store, trying to spot some of his favorite snacks. His eyes lit up at the sight of his favorite strawberry biscuits, making a mental note to refill his sweets stash at home.

His brother may be a health nut, but Keith sure as hell wasn't. 

"Lance?" Keith called.

All of a sudden, the lights went out. Keith jumped in surprise, just when he was thinking this night was getting a little too weird for him, he gets tackled by a figure decked out completely in black asides from a navy blue ski mask.

Keith screamed, punching the creature in the jaw. If he had been in any other situation, he'd probably be stocked to use the martial arts he'd learned growing up, but right now? He was scared out of his mind.

"OW!" The figure winced.

"Lance?" Keith's eyes widened, he was pinned underneath him yet again, and Keith wasn't sure how to feel towards how common it was becoming.

"Yeah, no shit. Now shh!! He's coming." Lance pulled Keith to a dark corner of the store, the only source of light illuminated from the street lamps outside.

"What!? Who?!" Keith shrieked in a whisper before being hushed again. Lance crawled slowly to the front of the store, Keith following close behind.

There were some footsteps, the flicker of a switch, and the light echoed back into the store, lighting it up once more.

A broad man stood behind the register, he wore a dark green shirt and an employee's apron. He had noticeable stubble, and stood tall against the counter, Keith also noticed he looked strangely familiar....

"GIVE ME THE MONEY!" Lance shot up, grabbing the bag Keith had brought.

Keith gasped in utter shock as Lance pulled a pistol out of the bag and aimed it at the man before them.

Keith had never been more petrified in his life. The _one_ time he makes a friend, they end up being a low class criminal.  _'Go outside they said, make **friends** they said...YOU'LL HAVE **FUN** THEY SAID'_

He froze in place, sitting behind Lance's left leg and looking up at the boy who he'd thought he'd known, now a total stranger.

"THE COPS ARE ON THEIR WAY BITCH." The broad man stated, stoic to the pistol only meters away. 

"THEY'LL NEVER GET HERE IN TIME" Lance hissed.

"We'll see about that.." The man smiled cruelly, pulling a shotgun from behind him.

Keith choked, tears running down his face like a waterfall. He felt trapped and insignificant there, clutching his knees.

However, Keith was impulsive. It wasn't long until his instincts kicked in, and they had a strong power over him. They often got him into a lot of trouble, but hopefully- this wasn't one of those times.

Without a second thought, Keith ran up and tackled Lance, grabbing him back and throwing the gun to the side. The man's eyes widened at the sudden action.

Keith held Lance back, hand against his mouth, and Lance's hands locked behind his own back. "Let us go! We won't come back I promise! Just don't shoot!!!" Keith pleaded, voice steady despite the tears in his eyes.

"I don't think so..." The man glared, pulling the gun, slowing time down.

Keith thought about running- but his legs felt like cement, nailed down to the ground. The rest of his body seemed detached and far away. He was completely numb asides from his heart that screamed against his cold chest. 

He flinched hard at the sound of the trigger, echoing out of the store into the muted streets of the city, all the way up to the sky, settling into the stars.

 

* * *

 

 

Keith flinched there for a good minute before the sound of Lance's laughter boomed against his hand. His eyes opened slowly, eyes widening in pure confusion. He finally let go of Lance, and looked at him for an answer, but Lance was too busy trying to seize his manic laughter. The man who was shooting at them only a moment before was also deeply in hysterics. 

"LUIS! YOU WERE AMAZING!" Lance grinned loudly at the other man. 

_'Luis!? AS IN THE ASSHAT'S **OLDER BROTHER**?_

"Hunk!" Lance spoke between laughs, "Buddy! Haha-Did you-ha- get-HAHA-that?!" Lance clutched his stomach in pain, as he laughed harder.

"You bet I did!" Hunk giggled through the intercom that Keith hadn't noticed.

"What. The. _Fuck_. Is. Going. _On_?" Keith spoke against gritted teeth.

"Keith, my man, you just got pranked. BIG TIME." Lance smiled happily at the paler boy, before immediately dropping when noticing the death glare on Keith's face.

"Keith? Buddy?"

Keith jerked towards Lance, running after him, Lance let out a loud, high pitched shriek, trying to run away from the enraged boy. 

"LUIS!!! HUNK!!! _HELP ME!!!_ " Lance ran around the store, throwing snacks at Keith in a failed attempt to slow him down. 

"I _told_ you pranking him would be a bad idea...But does anyone listen to Hunk? _NO...._ " Hunk's voice trailed off in the intercom.

"I'm with Hunk on this one little bro. This was all you." Luis laughed.

"KEITH I'M SORRY!" Lance was jumping over aisles now, making a huge mess in an attempt to escape.

"YOU'RE GONNA BE SORRY ALL RIGHT!" Keith caught Lance's arm and flung him back, catching him by the neck of his shirt.

"I SWEAR I'LL DO ANYTHING JUST DON'T TOUCH MY FACE!!" Lance shrieked as the shorter boy pulled at his collar.

Keith squinted in thought, before breaking into a sly grin. "Anything?"

Lance gulped, "S-sure."

Keith smiled sweetly with mischievous eyes, "Excellent."

 

* * *

 

 

"I cannot believe you got me to buy you _all_ of these snacks." Lance held five plastic bags filled with chips, soda, and seven packets of Keith's favorite biscuits. They'd left the store soon after Lance bought half of his brother's junk food supply for Keith, and were now in the park a couple blocks away.

"Hey, you're the one who offered." Keith stated simply, content with their exchange. He'd already opened up a cup of mini oreos, that he was currently sharing with Hunk.

"It's not that. I don't mind buying them for you, it's just that I never took you for much of a _sweets_ person..." Lance was still holding the bags, balancing on a rock ledge as his two friends strolled besides him on the path.

"Are you kidding? I would probably eat _only_ junk food if my brother didn't force his insane health habits onto me..." 

"Man that sucks! Junk food is delicious!" Hunk commented.

"It totally is!" Keith smiled, high-fiving his teddy bear of a friend.

"True. Especially pringles...you just can't enough of that shit." Lance hopped off the ledge.

"I know right! I could probably eat sour cream and onion pringles until I die." Keith smiled.

Lance stopped on his tracks. "Ew, why? Sour cream and onion is disgusting."

 

"Excuse you? Sour cream and onion is probably the best flavor in the universe." Keith refuted.

"No way in hell man. Everyone knows pizza flavored chips are definitely the best."

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Would you two _quit_? You sound like old an old married couple..."

Keith thanked the stars for the lack of light to cover his loud blush. "Whatever...he knows I'm right anyway."

"You wanna go hotshot?!" Lance handed Hunk the bags before closing the distance between him and Keith.

"CHIP EATING CONTEST. NOW. WHOEVER WINS IS RIGHT." Lance declared.

"Fine!" Keith grabbed the bags from a very concerned Hunk, and tore open two cans of pringles.

"You're going down Mullet..." Lance smiled playfully, blue eyes locking onto his opponent.

"We'll see about that." 

 

* * *

 

 

The set up on a picnic table nearby. Keith and Lance sat across from each other, each with their own can of chips. Hunk stood on the end of the table with his phone timer, the rest of Keith's bags on the other end. 

"Are you sure you guys wanna do this? What if you choke? What if-"

"Start the timer buddy." Lance glared at Keith.

"Ugh okay." Hunk hesitated, "I..2..go!"

Both boys immediately began gulping down the pringles. Keith grabbed a handful at a time, forcing the chips down with water. Lance chewed fast, only stopping to breathe and taking large gulps of water only after hitting the midway point.

Suddenly, Lance fought for air. He grabbed his water, trying to breathe, but he found it insanely difficult. He was coughing like crazy, slamming the table in an attempt for oxygen.

Keith got up instantly, pulled Lance off the seat, wrapped his arms around the taller shorter boy and pushed on his chest. Hunk could be seen freaking out on the side.

Lance gasped, air entering his body once again. 

He panted for a minute before speaking. “Woah, thanks Keith.”

“So you _do_ know my name.” Keith smirked.

“Yeah, but Mullet is funnier.” Lance teased. 

Keith rolled his eyes, despite smiling, “How does defeat feel?”

“NUHUH! THAT’S NOT FAIR LET’S GO AGAIN.” Lance yelled.

Hunk groaned as the other two boys laughed, playfully pushing the other back.

  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for trolling y'all LMAO... This chapter was loads of fun to write so I hoped you enjoyed it! I practically had a mental breakdown in between writing this because my laptop shut down on me and I almost lost the ENTIRE chapter. BUT, THANK GOD, I opened up my laptop and it was all still here (bless). Anyways, thanks so much for reading, I hoped you enjoyed it! -Tan ♡


	12. La Douleur Exquise (n.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> La douleur exquise (n.) - the exquisite pain of wanting someone unattainable.

 

"What do you  _ mean _ you have to work?!" 

Keith was on his computer, lounging back with his phone pressed against his ear. He was extremely unused to talking on the phone, seeing as texting was his preferred means of communication. However, Lance tended to type really fast, and although Keith had gotten pretty good at deciphering it in the past week, it  _ was _ easier to just call each other. Despite how awkward it was for him. 

"I mean  _ I have to work _ ; we already hung out two days ago, so what's the big deal?" Keith shifted the phone to his left hand to use his dominant hand on the mouse. 

"Yeah,  _ but we made plans _ ..." Lance whined. "What work are you doing  _ anyways _ ?"

"Writing stuff." Keith grunted, he was pretty much completely  **done** with Lance at this point.

' _ Doesn't this dude have a girlfriend? Why doesn't he just hang out with her?'  _ Keith thought bitterly.

"Ooohh, sounds cool. I'm coming over." 

"Wait what-" Keith's voice was cut off by the sound of the call ending. He groaned.

 

* * *

"Why are you here?" Keith asked the moment he made contact with night blue eyes.

"Excuse you, is that anyway to treat a guest?"

"I never invited you."

"Well I'm here..so can I come in?" Lance pointed to the apartment that Keith hid behind his head.

"No."

"kEITH."

"Fine. Just don't touch anything." Keith opened the door wider to let the energetic boy in, who happily strolled inwards.

"Nice place." Lance commented, looking around.

The apartment  _ was _ nice. It wasn't huge or anything, but it was certainly better than the college apartments Keith's peers were stuck with. At least he had a  _ couch _ .

"Thanks. It's my brothers. I'm just here until he forces me out." Keith laughed.

“Where is he? Shiro, I mean?”

“Oh, he’s with Matt.”

A silence fell over as Lance looked around and Keith shuffled awkwardly. Lance, like always, broke it.

He grinned. "So, your writing..."

"Ew. Don't remind me." Keith headed towards his room, feeling Lance's presence behind him.

"Aw, c'mon Mullet. Show me your fanfiction..." Lance smirked.

"Seriously? Fanfiction?" Keith raised an eyebrow in judgement.

"Yes!" Lance chirped.

Keith rolled his eyes, a smile dancing onto his lips. "I'm working on homework right now."

"Nice! What'cha writing about?" 

"Why should I tell you?" Keith sat down on his bed, in front of his laptop, smiling to himself.

"C'MON. KEITH? MY BUDDY? MY MAN? MY COMPADRE?" Lance stretched out across the floor, further exhibiting his dramatics.

"I don't know.." Keith grinned, teasing Lance had become one of his favorite pastimes, especially considering Lance was probably the most dramatic person on the face of existence.

"PLEASE. IF YOU DON'T TELL ME..I'll-umm....."

Keith raised his brows.

"..MY HEART WILL COLLAPSE! I'LL HAVE A STROKE. PLEASE KEITH. I AM JUST A BOY FROM CUBA I DO NOT HAVE THE STRENGTH-I'M ALREADY HAVING PALPITATIONS." Lance held Keith's arm as he dragged him down.

Keith laughed, "Okay! okay. Calm down drama queen."

Keith pulled up a folder of his old work, opening it up onto his laptop screen. He passed the electronic to Lance, who was now seated next to him, cramped onto his bed meant for two. 

The works were listed alphabetically, totaling up to about 40 finished pieces. Lance read them each carefully, each scroll was another jab at Keith’s anxiety. He didn’t know  _ why _ the idea of Lance reading his work made him so nervous, especially considering he’d shown it to so many other people before. Yet there he was, brushing his fingers through his thick hair, trying to seem as casual and calm as possible. 

“Hmm…” Lance squinted at the screen. 

“Will you pick something already?” Keith stated, annoyed.

“You know this is a  _ process _ !” Lance gestured with his hands. “Umm, okay. How about this one?”

The mouse hovered over a title in blue, “Lost”.

“Like the show?” Lance joked.

“Wow that’s the funniest joke I’ve ever heard.” Keith stated in monotone. 

“Lighten up, mullet.” Lance nudged the other boy’s arm, reminding Keith of their proximity.

The brown-haired boy double clicked the screen, letting the document open up before reading.

 

* * *

"How the  _ fuck _ are you going to end it like that?!" Lance had taken about ten minutes to read the short story Keith had written, and would not stop complaining about the, admittingly, abrupt ending. 

"It's a mystery!" Keith retorted.

"IT'S  _ INCOMPLETE _ ." Lance had passed the laptop back to Keith, and was now sulking besides the other boy.

“Okay well not everyone likes my work! You don’t  _ have _ to read it.” Keith crossed his arms.

Lance stopped suddenly. “Who says I didn’t like it?”

Keith looked up. Lance was making that face again, the gentle look, with smiling eyes and a limp mouth, the one that he used to calm Keith down, the one he used with children at the aquarium, the one he’d seen when Lance would tease Pidge. Keith really hoped Lance would stop using it- Keith’s heart would swell just by thinking about it. 

“I loved it. Alot. You’ve really got talent mullet.” Lance winked.

Keith lost against his smile, which now shone across his face, dimples and all.

"Thanks, hopefully this  _ homework _ will be good too." Keith took another look at his prompt sheet.

**Prompt #2- Write about two people meeting for the first time**

"Is that the prompt?" Lance leaned over, shattering any sort of physical boundary.

" _ No _ , it just says 'prompt' for  _ no reason _ ." Keith pushed Lance back, smirking slightly.

" _ Okay _ ..so who are you writing about?"

Ah, the ever so prominent question. Who? What? When? All some of the key factors to figure out when writing.

And Keith didn't have the answers to any of them.

"Umm, I don't know. It doesn't have to be real, I can just make it up." Keith typed in random letters, hoping that the page might magically fill itself with wonderful words and piece together like a story. No such luck.

"Well, do you have any two characters in mind?"

"Umm, I was thinking about using two characters I've already made." Keith looked around for his notebook, shuffling the items on his desk. "Aha!" Keith picked up a small black notebook with a red trim; there were loose papers erupting from the sides, and the book was also torn and frayed- yet Keith held it as if the king of France had gifted it to him. Lance watched Keith closely as he flipped through the pages, stopping at the middle of the book to show him.

"This is Jaden and Glenn. I could use them." Keith pointed down to the page Lance stared at. They were, essentially, character sheets; labeled with various traits and random facts, all in scrawny handwriting. Lance found it adorable.

"Nice. So, are they like..? A thing?" Lance asked midst deciphering Keith's penmanship.

"Well, yeah. They pretend, to sorta, hate each other, I guess? But everyone kinda knows about their feelings for eachother except them. It's pretty frustrating actually." Keith laughed.

“Wow. Sounds good, how about you start then?” Lance smiled earnestly.

“Yeah,” Keith swallowed the butterflies, “Sounds good.”

 

* * *

  
  


“How does this sentence sound?” Keith asked. The two boys laid on their stomachs, feet dangling off the bed.

Lance put down his phone. They’d been doing this for two hours now, Keith would write, Lance would comment, or scroll through his phone- all while maintaining conversation with each other. Keith also asked for advice every other paragraph, which Lance gladly gave. Of course,  _ along _ with the signature McClain remarks.

“Damn. It sounds like a sentence and everything.” 

Keith punched Lance’s arm lightly, smiling as Lance laughed. “It’s good. They’re all good. Stop worrying.”

Keith went back to typing, smile glued to his face. “I think I’m done? I think.” Keith’s hands rested on the keyboard, trying to single out any mistakes or awkward sentences. 

“Let’s see it.” Lance pulled the laptop to his side and cleared his throat before reading aloud. 

**“The name’s Jaden.”**

**Jaden extended a shy hand towards the person in front of them, they tilted towards slightly, meeting his height. He remained stoic, eyes focused onto the awkward individual. Finally, he turned to his side, words echoing through through the air, forming a corrupt sentence.**

**“Stay out of my way.”**

“Wow, what a bitch.” Lance commented.

“Leave Glenn alone. He’s my child.” Keith pressed a hand to his heart.

“Don’t worry, he’s a  _ premium _ bitch.” Lance smiled, raising his eyebrows.

Keith laughed, “ _ Quality _ bitch.”

“ _ Chanel _ bitch.” Lance added, sending Keith into a hysteria of giggles, Lance tore his eyes away. 

**Jaden scoffed, impulsively pulling the shorter being back and forcing him to meet their eyes. “Hey, I don’t know where the fuck you came from. But let’s get one thing straight.”**

“You’re not?” Lance laughed, as Keith struggled to breathe. Both boys in complete hysterics.

**“You** **_don’t_ ** **want to be on my bad side. I might be new here, but you can go fuck yourself if you mistake me for some doormat. I’m** **_not_ ** **one to be underestimated. Got that, No Name?”**

**“Sure,” He hissed sweetly. “And before I get you fired for your volatile language, how about you put those fumes of yours to good use and make me some coffee, hmm?” The man pushed his empty coffee cup towards them, smiling cruelly.**

**Jaden’s eyes widened in disbelief, “Why you-”**

**“And by the way; mark it under Glenn.” He gave one, last, mean look before strolling out of the room, leaving a trail of deceit behind him. Jaden stared at the empty cup in their hand, clutching their free fist as they thought of all the possible revenge tactics they’d picked up on over the years.**

**They weren’t going down without a fight.**

**This was** **_far_ ** **, from over.**

“I love it.” Lance stated, slowly handing the laptop back to Keith with a gleeful smile across his face.

“As much as it pains me to say it,” Keith joked, “I couldn’t have done it without your annoying self…” He smiled as he met Lance’s blue eyes. “Thank you, Lance.”

Lance’s eyes swelled up, mouth parting slightly with the turn of his lips. “We did it,” he whispered fondly, “We are a good team.”

Keith’s face broke into a soft smile. For a moment he thought Lance would reach over, and close the gap. It would only take a nudge, just a simple push, and the world that seemed to slide in between them would be gone.

Keith found himself, dangerously, wanting that. Wanting to surge forward, to break. But he didn’t.

Neither of them did.

Instead, Keith turned back to his laptop, turned in his work, and thanked Lance again for his help. Lance said a few more things that Keith didn’t fully process, and then left. Keith didn’t walk him to the door, and Lance didn’t run back. He didn’t even look back, despite surprising himself with the thought. Once Keith was alone, he shut his laptop down and screamed into his pillow. He felt weak and measly against his emotions, that roared in his head like a fiery storm. It was like trying to turn off a broken faucet. 

It didn’t  _ want _ to stop.

Keith stared at his ceiling, at each crack in the artificial sky as he beckoned the feelings to stop. Although not fully grasping it at the time, he was falling,  _ hard _ , like silverware, like glass, and he had no idea who would be there to catch him. “Fuck you Lance McClain..” Keith yawned, “Fuck you…” he drifted off into a rhythmic sleep, waves of sheets engulfing him as he slept, cursing at the universe in between each snore. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all are having a great spring break! I will try to update once more before I have to return to the inevitable doom known as high school... -Tan ♡


	13. Dormiveglia (n.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dormiveglia (n.)- the period between sleeping and walking.

Laying on the living room couch, half awake and full wanting to be dead, Keith's alarm let out a piercing sound, breaking the cocoon he had built out of Shiro's throw pillows and letting the cold in. He winced at the bright screen against the black canvas of the room, groaning as he ignored the numbers he couldn't see for the sweet scent of the sleep beckoning him. It was pretty damn obvious- Keith was hungover.

_ Extremely _ hungover.

And not the "wow man I'm totally drunk right now" hangover, this was his "when everything is slowly spiraling to literal shit so all I can do is live on netflix and eat nutella from the can" hangover. 

It wasn't like Keith was  _ unhappy _ with his life. He was extremely grateful to have such a loving family and the chance to go to college and all that stuff. Keith just knew when shit was gonna hit the fan. After all, good and bad follow each other constantly. With laughter comes tears to be shed, and vise versa. It was simply the way things were, and the way they'd always been.

But it wasn't like Keith could  _ do _ anything about it. All he could do was continue on with eternal optimism that he did not possess and the patience that Shiro kept nagging him about getting...and  _ not _ have a mental breakdown. 

_ Well.... _ that part needed work.

And technically it was  _ Lance's _ fault. If  _ he _ hadn't pranked Keith, then he wouldn't have been inclined to buy him this much junk food; and if Keith didn't have all this junk food he wouldn't have been inclined to spend the entire night binge watching the X Files until eventually falling into a self pitiful food coma.

So fuck Lance.

Keith sighed,  _ Lance. _

Why did he have to make things so difficult. Keith didn't wanna swim, and he  _ definitely _ didn't wanna have a crush on the person who was supposed to be teaching him. If this was any other person, they'd have probably given up a long time ago.

But this was  _ Lance _ .

Lance didn't have the mindset to give up. It wasn't in his DNA. And Keith absolutely hated how much he loved that.

Ha, love. The very root of Keith's insecurities and prolonged mental torture. He didn't like having feelings.

Especially ones for stupid Cuban heartthrobs.

He was still wrapping his head around that, his feelings that is. Lance was most definitely not Keith's type. Keith liked guys who were kind and brave and made him laugh...and....umm....

WELL ANYWAYS LANCE IS TOTALLY  **NOT** HIS TYPE.

'And even if he was..' Keith thought, 'which he's NOT..' 

"...he would  never feel that way about me." Keith whispered into the silent atmosphere of the 4 a.m. world. It hurt to say it aloud, but Keith wanted to get over Lance as fast as possible. He found a worm in his Adam's apple as he began to choke his thoughts down, pushing himself up against the sofa and the world.

 

* * *

  
  


"Come on grandma, put a pep in your step! You're gonna be late to class again." Shiro grabbed his keys from the counter as he tried to ignore the soft whines from his kid brother.

"No one talks like that..." Keith yawned as Shiro rolled his eyes.

"Ya'know if you actually listened to my schedule for you then you wouldn't be so tired." Shiro and Keith walked out of the apartment in long strides, as Keith was currently unfit to get himself to school safely, Shiro was completely open to play the older, wiser, sibling role. With the signature nagging that is.

"I'm not a child Shiro, I don't need a curfew."

"I'll believe it when I see it." His older brother retorted as the two slipped into the van.

Keith only grunted in reply, letting himself slip against the car window, staring at anything to keep his mind off of his cruel stomach.

Promptly after nagging Keith to put on his seatbelt and the vital necessities to "monitoring an automobile", Shiro quietened, softening his voice to address the young boy, much like when they were little.

Keith thought about that voice a lot. It helped him through much more than most people could grasp. When they were really young, and Keith was new to the family, he used to have terrible nightmares; they would come nonstop, each resulting in a sobbing Keith and an awoken Shiro.

 

_ “Hey, hey Keith it’s okay.” Shiro soothed the crying boy, picking up the frail child into his lap and hugging him gently. _

_ “They-they..” Keith hiccuped through flooding tears, face blemished by the pains of the past. _

_ “It’s okay, you’re okay..” Shiro rocked the young boy back and forth, allowing the sobs to soften into whimpers, before opening his mouth to cast out a note. _

_ Shiro sung softly, in a language Keith was unfamiliar with, but to a broken twelve year old, it didn’t really matter what Shiro was saying.  _

_ He was there. _

_ And that was enough. It would  _ _ always _ _ be enough. _

  
  


“Keith? I...I wanna say thank you.”

“Huh? For what?” Keith asked bluntly, one second he was being lectured and then the next he’s being thanked.  _ ‘Damn my brother’s weird’ _ .

“For trying. I know this is hard for you..but...I just wanna tell you, I’m proud.” Shiro turned to look at Keith for a moment, eyes shining with the softest of smiles.

“Oh-umm- thanks.” Keith coughed, not sure how to appease the awkward knot in his stomach.

Shiro nodded, driving in silence for the rest of the way.

Keith stared ahead, smiling to himself despite the mixed drink of emotions he held in his heart.

 

* * *

 

As he fought the battle in his stomach, giving his best to not hurl in his creative writing class, Keith was trying desperately hard to cling onto reality.

Anything to keep him focusing for even two  _ minutes _ , the paper in front of him, the teacher’s words, the girl across the room with the neon hair, the plant on Mr. Sennar’s desk that is in no way in  _ hell  _ still alive…

But  nothing is working.

Everything is clouded, he’s staring at the board with all the intention of writing the notes down, but his body seems detached. Keith isn’t sure where the numbness came from, or when it took him over, but it was undeniably in control. It was sorta like when your mind finally catches up to your adrenaline, like the wind pushing you back after running so long and realizing you have no clue where you’re going. Keith had no idea what he was doing in general.

“Alright, your homework is to finish reading the chapter and your next prompt is due in two days.” Mr. Sennar finished class before waiting for Keith to walk up to leave.

“Ah- Mr. Kogane, hold on. Is everything okay?” Mr. Sennar placed a hand on Keith’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort, but only making his student feel like a little kid again.  _ ‘People seem to really like doing that lately…” _

“Yeah...just tired.” Keith moved to turn out of the class before being stopped again.

“Well, okay. Just make sure you’re keeping everything up, alright? Your work has been tremendous lately, don’t wanna lose that spark young man.” His teacher smiled earnestly, moving back to his desk to signal the end of the discussion.

Keith nodded before rushing out. 

Where were all these compliments coming from?

For someone who was supposedly getting his life back together, Keith felt the tightrope underneath him slowly give way. He felt the weight of his problems stacked like dominoes against his skin, like a castle of cards stacked on the kitchen table one minute before the wind creeps in; as if he was made to fall apart.

He exhaled, breathing out second hand smoke as he passed his apartment that he didn’t realize he was walking to and started to run.

Keith needed to be somewhere, he felt it in his veins, pumping determination like gasoline.

He felt it as the wind blew his tar hair back, his soul had a distinct task at hand, Keith  _ needed _ to go somewhere.

He just didn’t know where yet.

 

* * *

 

 _'How the hell did I get here?'_ was a thought Keith probably would have asked himself if he wasn't entirely contaminated with adrenaline.

Actually, Keith probably would have asked himself a lot of questions. But right now? Keith wasn't saying anything. He wasn't even thinking.

He wasn't even in the water yet and his mind was already soaked. 

Ah yes, the water. 

It stared back at him now. After all these years, it taunted Keith like prey, like he was face to face with a caged animal, locking direct eye contact with the beast.

It had "do not feed" written all over it.

Keith inched to the edge of the diving board. He had to be at least twenty feet up in the air right now, not to mention still completely clothed.

It didn't matter right now. Nothing did. 

His feet curled towards the rim of his choice, lunging forward slightly before falling to a scream in the back.

 

* * *

 

Keith didn't feel the fall on the way down.

He just crashed against the water, ice cold against his warm skin, absorbing into his burning veins. His body was limp, before sprawling out, kicking into the empty void and finding a dead end in his diaphragm, silent yet screaming for oxygen.

Keith didn't wanna die.

It was a sudden thought, but it was prominent, crashing against his skull as he fought back waves, _'I don't wanna die, no, I don't wanna die.'_

Keith thought about his parents, his _real_ parents. 

Keith really didn't wanna die.

But that wasn't really up to him anymore. It was a game of fate. Pick a card, make a choice, keep on playing- whatever it takes to make it to the end. Life, in the end, is simply a game.

And Keith had just rolled his dice.

 

* * *

 

 

It was totally not Lance's fault he was late to class again.

OKay so it was a _little_ bit of his fault.

But it was _mostly_ his brother's fault. If _Luis_ hadn't forgotten to refill Lance's car after using it then Lance wouldn't have had to walk to the aquarium all by himself.

Granted, he probably should've spent less time getting ready and more time actually getting to the aquarium...BUT he couldn't find his body lotion _anywhere,_ not to mention his hair was giving him the **worst** time, so of course he had to spend at least ten more minutes figuring it out. If Lance was gonna be late then he sure as hell was gonna look good doing it. 

And besides, what's the worst that could happen?

 

* * *

 

 

Lance screamed when Keith's body hit the water. 

It happened so fast. Just a minute ago he was walking in to greet his new friend, and now he was hurling towards the water at light speed, bolting to reach Keith before death could.

He grabbed the boy, who was (thankfully) still kicking, up to the surface. He gasped for air as he laid Keith across the wet tiles, daring him to make a sound, breathe, make a snarky remark, _anything_.

Lance's instincts kicked in, and a moment of CPR later, Keith coughed for air. 

 _'He's okay.'_ Lance smiled, before realizing what had happened.

"YOU IDIOT." Lance smacked the back of the boy's head, who was still confused about the current situation.

"You made me cry you asshole." Lance wiped off the water leaking from his eyes, mixing into the chlorophyll that found a seemingly permanent residence on his skin. 

"What happened?" Keith asked gruffly, pushing back his raven hair that was now soaking wet.

"You were being your impulsive self and almost got killed and I saved you like the amazing gift of a human being I am, _that's_ what happened." Lance grabbed a nearby towel and wrapped it around Keith, who shivered regardless.

"Thank you." Keith coughed, he stared back into the water again.

Lance found himself wondering about Keith a lot. The boy was scared shitless about the water, yet he still never missed a lesson- Lance wondered what happened to him. People weren't born broken, Lance knew that by heart.

"Why did you do that?" Lance's hand tucked Keith's hair behind his ear before he could think about doing it. He didn't want to break any boundaries, but Keith didn't seem to mind the touch. He even leaned towards it almost, Lance disregarded it on behalf of Keith's lack of body heat, _'He's just cold.'_

"I-umm..I don't exactly know.." Keith made an effort to smile, but it seemed forced against his drooping eyes.

"Shh.. it's okay. What matters is you're safe." Lance wrapped his long limbs around the shaking boy, who softened against his touch. Lance worried about him, _'What had gotten him so wound up in the first place??' He's still fully clothed for fuck's sake."_

"We need to get you into something else, here come to my office." Lance offered a hand to the soaking boy, leading them back to the familiar room.

"Coffee?" Lance asked once Keith was inside. He still seemed to be recovering from the day's events, and Lance found his breath catching at the sight of his pale friend, so obviously fighting a war inside himself.

How do you help people who didn't wanna be helped?

Lance found that, despite everything, you _couldn't_. You just had to _be there_. You had to let them open up, and you had to do the best you could to make it easier for them. You had to give your all to save them. Even if that meant just stirring coffee in a red mug in the aftermath of chaos, humming just to remind them know _you're there_.  

_'I'm here Keith...I'm here.'_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been gone for forever and I apologize...this chapter isn't as long as I hoped it'd be (it was originally gonna be two separate parts) but hopefully it satiates you for the moment~ I'm not sure when I'm going to update again, with all my testing coming up and such (ew), but hopefully everything turns out well... As always, thanks for existing ~Tan ♡


	14. Algedonic (adj.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Algedonic (adj.)- pertaining to both pain and pleasure.

It had been a month since the incident.

Two boys, an office, and a cup of hot chocolate later, Keith went straight home; without any further explanation nor exchange of words. Neither of them brought it up again, and although Lance wanted to, he knew better than to push Keith's boundaries. 

Who knows what would happen if he did?

Lance found himself thinking about Keith a lot. Completely randomly, when he was driving, surfing, or watching T.V., a flash of a drowning pale boy would shoot through his mind. It hitched his breath without fail.

"Red or blue?"

"Huh?" Lance refocused his eyes to the girl in front of him, waving two dresses on hangers.

"Lance! You said you'd help me pick!" The blond dreaded girl groaned, "if you could stop being fucking useless for once."

"S-sorry babe, umm..I like the blue." Lance scratched his head, trying to clear his head.

"Ugh, no, blue makes me look orange." Nyma threw the dresses behind as she turned back to the wardrobe. Lance sat on the far side of the bed, fidgeting as his girlfriend sort through the clothes.

"Where are you going anyways?" Lance asked, raising a brow at the frantic girl.

"Oh, you know, out with friends." Nyma said through a tight lipped smile, tucking her hair behind her ear.

Lance, satisfied by her answer, only hummed in response, before a distinct buzzing echoed from his phone.

A text.

**captain mcgrump mullet:**

**Hey, are you available right now?**

 

Lance smiled at his original contact name as he typed out a response.

 

**sorry babe im taken ;))) she the loml ;0**

 

He waited thirty seconds before his phone buzzed again.

 

**Stop. I just wanted to see if we were still up for today.**

**an excuse to text me I see ;)))**

**If you send another winky face I will not hesitate to block you.**

**gasp i thought we were bestiez~**

**[image]**

**how dare u flip me off i am offended**

**i came out here to have a good time and honestly feel so attacked rn**

 

**;)**

**OMG YOU SENT A WINKY FACE IM SCREENSHOTTING**

**{screenshot captured}**

**blessed image**

**lol**

**but yeah im avaliable, what time?**

***I'm *available**

**Right now?**

**Fine mr grammar nazi smh**

**look at me im keef i write and shit im better than u**

**[image]**

**Did you really just spend several minutes drawing that?**

**yes**

**I'm rolling my eyes right now.**

**ik i can feel the edge from here**

**and yes im "available"**

**Meet me by the aquarium in half an hour?**

**aye aye captain ;)))**

 

* * *

 

 

"So we swimming today or what?" Lance slid into the water easily as Keith approached him.

"I-umm...I wanna try."

Lance, who was floating backwards peacefully, stopped in his tracks.

"Really? Oh my stars finally! Let's get you started!" Lance smiled widely as he rose from the water to help Keith out.

"Just use these steps under the water here. We'll start at the 3 foot end and make our way. Sound good?"

"Um, yeah." Keith smiled uneasily.

"Hey, you can do this." Lance made direct eye contact with the other boy, who squirmed under the gaze.

Keith nodded, letting himself be lead by the tan boy into the pool.

Slowly.

Closer.

Closer.

Closer.

If Lance hadn't had a death grip on Keith's hand, the shorter boy would have probably made a bolt for the door the moment his skin came in contact with the still water.

Instead, he only squirmed, as his body broke through the waves, created ripples in his path. If he wasn't so scared shitless, Keith would have probably thought it was beautiful.

Instead, he let his eyes focus on the boy in front of him. Lance turned around with a smile that could make the sun blush, and raised his brow with shameless mischief.

"You ready mullet?"

 

* * *

 

 

"I have no idea what you're trying to tell me to do." Keith stood in the water with his arms crossed against his chest, trying to decipher Lance's instructions.

"It's simple! If you're gonna learn how to swim, you've gotta be able to go underwater. Now, I'm not tryna get you to do some complicated shit, I just wanna get you the feel of being underwater. So just dip your head in."

"I'm not sure-"

"Keith."

Keith looked up and took every ounce of strength he had to size up to Lance's sincerity. He _had_ to stop looking at him like that, there was no way in hell Keith could take anymore of it.

"I _know_ you're scared. But, you've got this okay?" Lance grasped Keith's shoulders, "And besides, you can just get out whenever you feel like it! Just, take it step by step."

Keith took a deep breath, "Alright."

"Perfect! Now just let me lead..."

Keith closed his eyes, letting Lance's arms pull him down into the water, he found his heartbeat escalating quickly, but time came to a halt when he opened his eyes.

He hadn't seen that much blue in a long time, it engulfed him completely, and Lance fit perfectly into this new world. Keith could swear that Lance was a mermaid in another life, no regular human being had eyes that blue. 

Lance smiled under the water, surrounded by the colour of his own eyes; yeah, he definitely fit, Keith couldn't look away.

Until remembering that he kinda sorta definitely needed to breathe.

Keith jumped up from the water, gasping for air as Lance rose up next to him. 

"That was great!" He exclaimed happily, patting his student on the back.

"Yeah," Keith's face broke into a wide smile and Lance's mind stopped. _'He should do that more often'_ , he thought.

Lance smirked, before splashing Keith in the face, whose eyes widened in betrayal, Lance laughed heartedly. 

They continued like this, fooling around playfully, losing track of time before Lance's phone let out an obnoxious ring that vibrated through the walls of the aquarium, crashing into the good mood like loud waves against sand.

Lance rushed to answer it, the ringtone was special, he had it set to only one person. He picked up the phone anxiously, waiting for a voice to speak up.

A familiar voice collided into his ear.

"Where the fuck are you?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoooooo I got all my ap tests done bLESS. Now I just gotta survive finals and I aM SET. Also I think y'all should know I entered a writing contest and began writing an hour before the deadline (haha shoot me) and legit seventy percent of it was from my last chapter of WTT with different characters- why am I like this? Anyways, thanks for breathing, y'all are great ~Tan ♡


	15. Vagary (n.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vagary (n.)- an unexpected and inexplicable change in a situation or in someone's behavior.

Lance was all over the place. One second he's on the phone, looking as though he was speaking to the devil themself, and the other he's pacing around the room in hysteria.

Keith had no idea what to do besides sit there. What are you _supposed_ to do when your friend loses their shit?

"Oh no this is bad this is bad..."

"Lance."

"I have no one to take....I can't bother Hunk right now..."

"Lance."

"Pidge is a minor....and Allura is out of town..."

" _Lance._ "

"Could I take Coran? Would that be weird...?"

"LANCE."

"Huh?"

Keith sighed, "Lance, what's wrong?"

Lance hesitated before taking a breath and spilling the news.

"Okay so my girlfriend went out tonight and somehow ended up at a party and she's asking for me and I have no idea what to do because I have no one to take and she says I can't show up alone or I'll look like a loser with no friends and I'll make her look bad but I-"

"I'll go with you." Keith stated, the words slipping out of his mouth before he could think twice. _'Shit oh no why the fuck did I say that shit fuck shit okay okay maybe he didn't hear-'_

"You'd do that?" Lance's eyes beamed with hopeful radiance, eyes Keith couldn't deny if he tried.

"Yeah, I'd-"

"Oh my God you're the best!" Lance enveloped Keith in a quick hug before darting off, "I'm gonna go change! I'll meet you in the parking lot in five!"

Keith stared at the vacant pool. The water rippling silently, mocking him almost. He felt like an idiot, letting his own impulsiveness get the better of him.

"Fuck you." He said both to the water, and to no one in general, before proceeding with his regretful decision.

 

* * *

 

Okay so you don't _have_ to stay for the whole time, just show up, chill a bit and you can leave! Sound good?" Lance walked up to the front of the lavender beach house with Keith by his side.

Keith groaned internally, the purple walls irritating him beyond control. He hated feeling so helpless all the time, but he continued hanging out with Lance, laughing, smiling, talking- so how much did he _really_ hate it? He did however, love teasing the other boy. It always made Keith feel better, to get on Lance's nerves.

"Why would I leave?" Keith smirked.

"Well, you don't really like people, I just assumed-"

"Nah Lance. I just don't like _you_." He smiled sweetly, leaving Lance gawking.

"Well excuse _you_ , Mr. Hotshot. After I extend an olive branch of friendship, _this_ is the thanks I get?" Lance tried to keep a straight face, but evidently struggled.

Keith giggled, "Who says I wanted your friendship?"

Lance gasped dramatically, over exaggerating his betrayal. "Fine! Suffer at this party as long as you want! I. Don't. Care."

"Fine." Keith inched closer, pushing Lance further.

" _Fine._ " Lance retorted.

Neither of them dared to break eye contact, nor shy away. There were a lot of hidden words within the space they occupied, words they wouldn't dare say aloud, too dangerous, too risky, so they simply sat in the void between the two. They, physically, were only inches apart, a small shove and-

"LANCE WHASSUP!" Rolo slammed the door aside, causing them to jump back. Keith's heartbeat escalated by ten times, while Lance seemed unphased.

"Rolo, my man!" Lance grinned with teeth as he rushed into the house with pride. Booming noise escaped the house despite there being no more than about fifteen guests, Keith and Lance included.

As they made their way through the house, Keith could feel his chest tighten up; _'It's okay you're okay....We're doing this to prove him wrong.'_

"Babe!" Lance yelled happily to the girl in the center of the living room. Her dreadlocks were tied back into two high ponytails, which fell down against her navy blue crop top and high waisted jeans. She was dancing around two other female girls, who dispersed upon seeing Lance.

"There you are!" Nyma squealed happily, walking towards her boyfriend with a wide smile plastered on her face and a drink in her hand. However, her smile immediately fell when she noticed who Lance was with.

"Who's... _this_? I thought you were bringing Hunk." Nyma asked with no attempt to hide her disapproval.

"Well, honey, Hunk is busy studying for this huge test he has tommorow. Engineering is not an easy major, ya'know. But this is Keith, he's one of my students, remember? I talked to you abou-"

"Yeah, okay, whatever." Nyma waved him off and faced Keith, "It's _wonderful_ to meet you."

Keith nodded meekly, trying to avoid her sickly sweet glance.

" _Anyways_ , I'm gonna go get some food. You guys, _enjoy_ yourselves." she said, turning to give Lance a quick peck on the cheek before hurrying off.

The two boys stood in silence as they watched her dart off, the mood quickly lightening without her. 

"Well she's-"

"Let's dance." Lance turned to Keith with a small smile, arms pulling him into the dance floor. People danced around them, but all Keith could see was the tall boy in front of him, swaying playfully to the rhythm of some generic pop song. They smiled back at each other, Lance teasing Keith to do more than just "stand there", and Keith swearing that he could not dance if his life depended on it, and Lance reminding him that his life didn't depend on it, and he should just "loosen up".

"What would you know about loosening up? You're the biggest diva I've ever met." Keith smirked

Lance gasped dramatically, "How. Dare. You." he lightly shoved Keith back, who laughed loudly.

The music continued to blast, people showed up and left; and two hours in, Rolo showed up again, this time, to make an announcement.

"Listen up!" Rolo jumped onto the couch, stomping his prosthetic leg to get everyone's attention, when the music dulled down, he began to speak.

"Okay, we're gonna be playing a _little game_ , many of you know that a true party is held outside the comfort zone- and _this_ ," Rolo waved to the audience, smiling proudly, "...Is no exception. How many of you have heard of...Devil's Dice?"

 

* * *

 

Now, Keith was no party-goer. In fact, he was by far, the _true_ definition of a social hermit. So when Rolo declared the evening's shenanigans, he was about as clueless as a cow at the slaughterhouse- except Keith, would much rather be at a slaughterhouse.

Devil's Dice was Rolo's own, proud creation, weaved of several different classic party games into one giant, messy, casserole. Although there were no set rules, and it changed a little depending on Rolo's mood, it went something like this: party guests sit in a giant circle, and spin a bottle filled with crumbled paper, once Person A spins the bottle, the person it lands on, Person B, must take a piece from the bottle and do whatever the paper requests: either complete a ridiculous dare OR, the more likely scenario, spin the dice. The dice, also handcrafted by Rolo, were a set of naughty tasks meant to be complete by the two individuals- which were as innocent as a simple kiss, to as dirty as... _other things_.

It was as simple as this: Keith could not have been less ready for the night's events.

But the thing with the world is, it won't ask for your permission to change your life.

It just will.

 

* * *

 

"Are. You. READY?!" Rolo brought out the bottle.

_'Fuck no...'_

"FUCK YES." Lance yelled enthusiastically. He had a lucky streak, where he had never been picked and he got to watch everyone else make a fool out of themselves. It always made his night.

Once everyone got into a circle, and both the dice and bottle were placed in the center, Rolo clapped his hands together, "Alright, who's first?"

"ME!" A tall girl with dark skin and short, black, curls raised her tattooed (a band logo Keith didn't recognize and a golden dove) hand, Keith had seen her with Nyma earlier, but now she sat with two boys beside her. She adjusted her glasses and waited till everyone was quiet to spin the bottle. When she finally did, she spun hard, her bangles rattling as the bottle made it's choice.

Over and over, in a seemingly endless loop.

Until slowing.

And stopping....

Eyes widened as the bottle landed on a petite, tan girl with a hot pink pixie cut. Her dark lipstick shaped into a mischievous smile as she picked from the bottle.

The audience held their breath as she unrolled the scrap of paper.

She giggled as she read from its text, "Let the other person have complete access to your phone for the rest of the night."

"YES, I CAN ORDER PIZZA!" The black haired girl shrieked, the rest of the party laughing at the exchange.

The party continued on, getting much dirtier and more hysterical- two girls exchanged bras, one guy had to perform a seance, and two individuals made out in the kitchen for a good five minutes. As the night proceeded, Keith began to feel comfortable, he hadn't been picked yet, and it wouldn't be long till _everyone_ got paired off, to make out or some other shit, and he could disappear without a word. He was set.

Or so he thought.

"Lance, why don't _you_ spin the bottle? Are you, dare I say it, _scared_?" Rolo asked, the rest of the party murmuring in agreement.

"Come on, Rolo. We both know I ain't scared of _shit_. I'm not a single man, that's all."

"Oh come on. Nyma doesn't care, do ya sis?" Rolo turned to the surprisingly, quiet, girl.

"Of _course_ not! I don't give a fuck. Lance can mess with _anybody_ here, but he would never cheat, everyone knows he's _mine_." Nyma laughed, gaining the support of the crowd.

"Fine!" Lance raised his hands in defeat, "I'll play."

Everyone cheered, asides from Keith, who suddenly was at a loss for air. Would it look so bad if he just got up right now? Would anyone notice? Keith wanted to run, but couldn't. There was some greater force holding him down. Was it inertia? Adrenaline? Who knows. As far as the universe was concerned, the only thing Keith would be doing, is waiting. And waiting, he did.

So much waiting.

Lance reached for the center, slowing time down as he spun the bottle abruptly.

Keith counted down seconds in his head, the world moved like molasses as the bottle made its trip around the world and back.

And over.

And over again.

Keith didn't realize he had closed his eyes, but when he opened them again, the tip of the bottle laid still, pointing at one person.

A girl with blonde dreadlocks.

 

* * *

 

"Well _that_ was anticlimactic." A guy in a green hat commented, gaining the laughter from the room.

"Hey, it isn't over yet." The girl with the hot pink hair from before commented, "Nyma needs to pick from the bottle."

Nyma grinned with devilish eyes as she slowly reached for it, making extra precaution to gain the eyes of everyone in the room. The whole ordeal took about two minutes, much to Keith's annoyance.

_'Hurry up already.'_

She cleared her throat as she read aloud, "Pick a dare for whoever picked you."

Ooos came from around the room as she smiled to her boyfriend.

"Lance."

"Hmm?" Lance was clearly enjoying the attention, and played along eagerly.

"I want you..."

"Yes?" Lance smiled playfully.

"...To kiss Keith."


	16. Cheiloproclitic (adj.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cheiloproclitic (adj.)- being attracted to a person's lips and/or mouth.

For writers, words are everything.

Words break, words love, words mend- words can capture what is lost, and recollect the puzzles of our thoughts to form an experience. Words are not just a form of communication, but they are a bond.

In fact, there are very few moments in a writer’s life that cannot be reconciled through language.

For Keith, this was one of them.

Time was a blur. It was humans that constructed the idea of time, and it could not have been more evident to Keith than at that minute of his life; shouting like a warzone coming from all sides, a second of hesitance filled with booze and truth, and the next moment- before Keith could think, a set of lips were smashed against his.

Lips.

Lips.

Lips.

Lance.

Keith’s senses were overridden with the taste of caramel and the next thing he knew: the world was blue.

 

* * *

 

Keith had learned, if anything, that drowning was very much possible with two feet on ground.

Drowning in debt, lies, insecurities…

...Another boy’s arms.

Anxiety had been present for most of his life, and he had his fair share of panic attacks; (loss of air on land is almost worse than complete lack of air underwater) and Keith could never just _“breathe”_ , he tended to over think; I mean, how dare _he_ take this moment to inhale the polluted sky and rob oxygen from someone else who might need it more.

Pollution was the worst.

Keith’s world was full of it. His mind, his thoughts, his body, his hands…

….on another boy’s waist.

Keith had never tasted so much oxygen at once, and still refused to breathe.

Keith thought, maybe he _liked_ drowning...

Maybe a little too much.

 

* * *

 

The moment was over before it began.

Keith could’ve sworn it lasted a lifetime, maybe forever. But forever isn’t always a long time, and before he knew it his lips were stripped and the party went on without him.

Mentally, that is.

Physically, he was still seated between the boy he’d just kissed and the girl he’d never met, his fingers traced his lips to check if they were still there. They were, and they tasted like sea salt.

“Whoo!” Rolo was getting drunker by the minute, which meant the party wouldn’t be lasting much longer, “Who’s next!?”

“Ugh I’m tired, let’s dance!” Nyma shot straight up to the stereo, where she cranked up the volume to some Rihanna song at full blast.

The people cheered, and Keith found the strength in his legs to finally get up. He looked to his left, but Lance was gone.

He sighed at no one in particular, and turned for the exit.

 

* * *

 

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

One hand on the doorknob, and the other clenching into itself, Keith knew better than to turn around.

But he did anyways.

“I _said_ , where the _fuck_ do you think you’re going?”

“Why, do you care, _Nyma_?” Keith stated, stressing out every syllable.

“So you think you can make out with _my_ boyfriend and walk off? Your little crush is pretty obvious, and don’t think that I’m just gonna watch you pine for him. You’re a writer aren’t you? Lance said you were, so write this down: Lance, will _never_ like you back. Understood?” Her face was twisted into a scowl, her eyes fixated onto Keith like prey.

“Don’t worry, I know I’m not his type. He seems to only be interested in fake, abusive, twats.” Keith scolded, watching her flame up in unadulterated anger.

“Why, you-”

“And another thing,” Keith stepped closer, looking her dead in the eye, “ _You don’t deserve him.”_

He didn’t wait for her reaction before storming off, slamming the door behind him.

As he walked through the silent street, the moonlight his only accomplice, he had two things on his mind.

The taste of caramel and a ride home.

 

* * *

 

_‘What the fuck just happened…’_

Lance had been hiding out in the bathroom for at least 10 minutes now, and had no plan of ever coming out.

Immersing himself with water, he tried to focus, but found it immensely difficult to even begin to think straight. He watched himself in the mirror, his hair soaking and curling up, he pushed it back and let his fingers rest on his neck. What in the world was he gonna do now?

Lance believed he loved Nyma. They’d been dating for almost a year now, and he was in such a bad place before. He hadn’t always been in the _best_ relationships….He didn’t wanna deal with another heartbreak, he didn’t think he could handle it.

But his heart wasn’t very good at handling anything; especially this, whatever the fuck _this_ was.

Lance liked Keith.

But was it like _that_?

Their kiss couldn’t have lasted for more than thirty seconds. Lance couldn’t even recall if Keith kissed back, all he _could_ remember was the cheering and the shouting and the peer pressure nesting in his mind.

And the feel of long hair through his fingers.

And rough hands gently tracing him.

And the taste of strawberry.

He groaned. Why did life have to be so _shitty_?

Keith was a good guy. Pain in the ass sometimes? Hell yeah. Difficult to get along with? Definitely. But he was a _good guy_. Lance cared about him, and he’d like to think that maybe, under that horrible hairdo, Keith cared about Lance too.

And, despite denial, Lance _did_ think he was cute. Especially when he got mad, or put his hair up, or did that lopsided smile of his, or laughed….

 _Anyways_. Lance’s heart was completely torn. He couldn’t see himself without Nyma, but would he have to never see Keith again?

He choked. Never seeing Keith again would be…

Lance gulped.

He needed beer.

 

* * *

 

Keith could not, for the life of him, remember the word he needed.

He finally got home, after calling Matt to pick him up and making him swear on his life he wouldn’t tell Shiro. Thankfully, he wasn’t home when Keith got there, even though being lectured about staying out too late would’ve _certainly_ been the icing to this shit cake. Instead, he sat in front of his laptop, trying to form coherent sentences and some how bullshit it into a storyline.

He was only a paragraph into his final. And at this point, he was just trying to get it _done_. So he could finally stop worrying about his assignments, drop out of swimming classes for good, and never have to see Lance Asshat McClain for the rest of his life.

“I’ll just move to Sweden, yes that’ll work….” Keith opened a new tab, ready to book the next flight to Boden when Shiro’s voice called out from the doorway.

“Keith! You have a, erm, _guest_ …”

 _‘What?...I have only two friends who could it possibly be…’_ Keith walked out of his room, gawking when his eyes found the boy by Shiro’s side.

“Hey mullet…”

 

* * *

 

Three beers later and Lance’s conscious was swamped with black haired boys.

More specifically, _a_ black haired boy.

He kept tracing his own lips, trying to mask the berry taste with no prevail.

Maybe if he just talked to him…

“Where is he anyways?” Lance thought aloud, getting up to search for his missing friend when he found Nyma crying beside the kitchen.

“Oh no, babe what’s wrong?!” Lance stumbled over to her, when she looked him up and down in disapproval.

“Wouldn’t you know? Your stupid friend of yours lashed out on me and left, called me a slut…” she blew into a handkerchief, muffling her loud sobs.

“Keith?” Lance’s brows furrowed.

“Who the fuck else? It’s not like you have any other friends.” she rolled her eyes.

“Nyma, that- that doesn’t sound like Keith.”

Her eyes widened, “Do you think I’m _lying_?”

“What, I didn’t say-”

“Well maybe you don’t have to say anything. In fact, why don’t you go after him instead, I’m tired of your shit.” storming off, she left a teary-eyed Lance and a trail of deceit behind her.

Lance needed to scream. To run, _something_ to get him away from this horror show.

His legs only allowed him so far, collapsing beside the nearest beer keg, and letting his hands do the rest.

Swallowing the sharp drink, he let his body lead him to nowhere in particular, eventually falling on some random front yard.

His eyes gazed over the stars, counting them before lulling into sleep.

He dreamt of girls with dreadlocks, the taste of strawberry, and a boy with the words to change the world.

He woke up to a metal arm hoisting him into the back of a car.


	17. Meliorism (n.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meliorism (n.)- the optimistic belief that the world can get better.

“Where the  _ fuck _ did you find him??” Keith was freaking out, it wasn’t everyday that you kiss your crush, get your life ruined, rush home with a broken heart, only to find your brother attempting to hold up a very drunk version of said crush. 

“Don’t freak out! I found him on some random lawn, the poor guy’s completely wasted. I was thinking we could keep him here for the night or at least call someone to pick him up…” Shiro gently placed a drunken Lance onto the couch, while Keith lost his shit.

“Ugh I don’t have his brother’s contact…” Keith clenched his head in worry, before snapping his fingers, “HUNK! I can call Hunk!”

He rushed into his room for his phone, waiting in quiet anticipation for the other man to pick up.

Voicemail.

Keith cursed, leaving a message before hesitantly returning to the origin of the chaos.

“So, your boyfriend’s spending the night?” Shiro asked happily.

“Not funny.” The younger sibling glared, much to his brother’s amusement. 

“Keith, I’m-hic-sorry...” Lance rolled over to the side, mumbling to himself.

“He can’t even form a sentence.” Keith panned, gesturing towards the drowsy boy. 

Lance groaned into the couch, half awake. 

“Calm down. We’ll just let him crash here until the morning.” Shiro smiled genuinely, which only pushed Keith’s nerves further.

Keith dropped on the sofa, his screaming muffled through the cushion.

“Stop being so dramatic!” Shiro smacked the back of Keith’s head, who weakly hit his older brother with the nearest pillow he could reach.

A few minutes of Drunk!Lance, Keith’s whining and Shiro trying to be responsible later, their lives were interjected by the ringing of a doorbell and the surprise of a certain sibling duo. 

In a small apartment in the middle of the city, a new world was forged by unlikely circumstance and chance. As many come to learn, a lot can happen in a single night.

And for Keith, the night had  _ just begun. _

 

* * *

 

“WHAT ARE _YOU_ _TWO_ DOING HERE!?”

“Just came to crash the party, that’s all…” Pidge smirked happily, flopping down onto the couch next to Lance.

“No party’s complete without the Holts!” Matt pitched in, fistbumbing his sibling as he sat down.

“Matt, nobody wants you here! And Pigeon or whatever the fuck your name is! I met you not even 4 months ago!” Keith screamed in frustration.

“Keith, I think maybe you need to calm down.” Shiro gestured at his aggressive brother, who sighed deeply before lying down face first in the middle of the room.

“Yeah,  _ Keith _ ! Besides, I need to get dirt from Lance somehow! Who would I be if I didn’t keep my blackmail collection updated?” Pidge smiled deviously.

“And I gotta keep the punk on a leash, so, I’m here too!” Matt added happily.

“This is it. My life is ruined. You all came here to sabotage me. You all must really hate me. What did I ever do to any of you…” Keith murmured in a monotone. 

“Shiro told me you were ‘theatrical’.” Pidge stated with air quotes. “I mean, Lance is one of my best friends and even  _ he _ ’s not this much of a drama queen.”

“How dare you compare me to him.” Keith hissed, which in turn Lance grunted in disapproval from the couch.

“Hey, this might be good for you! I mean, what better way to bond with some new friends then by cramping ourselves together for an entire night in a single, closed off space!”

“Fabulous choice of words there Matt.”

“Thank you Shiro, I really try.”

“I’m going to my room.” Keith got up only to be followed by a five foot tall whatever in an oversized green martian shirt and thin, golden rimmed glasses.

Keith fell onto his bed with a quiet Pidge following close behind, they sat down crisscrossed on the floor as he complained aloud.

“What am I gonna do??” Keith groaned.

“How about you tell him about your little crush of yours.” Pidge deadpanned. 

“You know about that?!” Keith shrieked.

“Are you kidding me? Everyone at the aquarium knows, I’m pretty sure the  _ dolphins _ know…”

“Ugh...also, aren’t you like, twelve?”

“I’M NINETEEN SHUT THE FUCK UP.” Pidge shouted, swatting Keith in the back of the head, “I MAY BE FIVE FEET AND ONE POINT TWENTY FIVE INCHES TALL BUT I CAN STILL KICK YOUR ASS.”

“Ow! Ow! Okay I’m sorry! I’m just..really upset, that’s all.” He sighed, sitting up onto the mattress, hugging his knees to his chest.

Pidge’s face softened, “He ended things with Nyma, ya know.”

Keith lay quietly, letting them finish, “She was a huge bitch, like always, and I’ve been telling him to end it with her since before they even began but, tonight...tonight she ended it off with him, he drunk texted me the whole thing afterwards, and before I could get to him, my phone died.”

“So it  _ wasn’t _ all about blackmail. You actually care about the goon.” he scanned their face, sensing a bit of sensitivity in the way they talked, Keith had underestimated Lance’s ties with his friends before, and Pidge was obviously very close to him. 

“You’re good friends?” He asked.

“The best.” Pidge laughed, “I met him and Hunk about four years ago, and it’s always been the three of us. Once we met Allura and Coran, well, that was even better. But, Lance...he’s a little too  _ welcoming _ at times.”

“What do you mean?” Keith’s brows furrowed.

“He’s so- _ ready _ , to accept anyone. Which is amazing yeah, but, he just  _ lets _ people hurt him. And he  _ always _ just gives them another chance. He’s all ‘forgive and forget’ and all that spiritual shit but, it hurts him. I know it does.” Pidge’s shoulders shrunk down, making them look even smaller, there was something bothering them deeply, and although Keith wanted to, he felt in no position to ask about it.

“I’m gonna tell him.” Keith stated abruptly, surprising both Pidge and himself. 

“Wait, really?!” they hopped up in excitement, “Keith that’s great!” 

He smiled softly, mentally preparing himself for the events to come.

 

* * *

 

It was midnight and Lance somehow ended up on Keith’s bed. 

Now, I know what you’re thinking, and no, it wasn’t  _ like that _ .

It more or less had to do with Keith’s invasive friends who were too involved in his life and a compliant Cuban who just wanted to get some  _ damn sleep _ .  _ Wherever _ , that may be.

It primarily began when Pidge called dibs on the couch, which of course, was the current residence of your friendly neighborhood lightweight, not that any of them seemed to take this into consideration. 

“But I wanted the coach!” Matt whined.

Shiro rolled his eyes, “You can sleep in my room, now Pidge-”

“I already called the couch! You can’t make me move!”

“Lance is sleeping there!” Keith interjected, the gang was standing around the living room, trying to make sleeping arrangements- given their current situation, with some of the most stubborn people in the Western hemisphere, plans weren’t going as smoothly as hoped.

Lance grunted, seating himself up, much to the shock of everyone in the room.

“I can move..” he moaned, “if that will make you all shut the fuck up…”

“He lives!” Shiro exclaimed, “Do you wanna move to Keith’s room?”

Lance only grunted in reply, but the gears in Keith’s head were shifting, and when he realized what was going on, he shouted in protest; of course, by then, Matt and Pidge were already halfway to said bedroom, holding up a specific brown haired boy.

“YOU GREMLINS, YOU DID THIS ON PURPOSE.” Keith accused, pointing to the smiling pair of siblings as they proudly presented his bed, now complete with a dozing boy.

“You’re welcome.” Matt sung, Pidge’s laughter echoing off the four walls of the bedroom, which seemed much smaller now, as they sauntered out.

Keith could only pout, as he laid out an extra blanket from his closet onto the wooden floors, he looked to the boy who now occupied his mattress and sighed.

This was gonna be a  _ long _ night.

 

* * *

 

It was two in the morning and Keith couldn’t feel his left arm.

Now, this could mean one of two things.

One, he had left the front door open leaving complete access for alien life forms to come in and take various parts of his body which they saw fit for research and study of the homo sapiens. 

_ Or _ , someone was laying on top of it. 

Keith tried to move said arm, but a weight was stopping him. He squinted in the darkness, trying to make out whatever greater force was pushing down on him when his eyes adjusted to a certain sleeping boy, whose head was rested against the numb arm, and arms were placed around Keith’s waist.

Keith shrieked in surprise, covering his mouth a little too late as Lance yawned and rubbed his eyes open.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Lance apologized casually, once realizing their current position. He untangled himself away from Keith, who tried to look calm despite internally screaming. 

“So- how long was I out? Man, I feel like  _ shit _ …” Lance groaned, resting himself so his back was on the side of the bed, his knees to his chest.

“A couple hours.” Keith answered, studying the boy in front of him.

“I need to thank your brother. That man’s a lifesaver.” he laughed despite pain in the wrinkles of his eyes.

“You okay?” 

Lance lowered his gaze, face falling. “Nah...I will be. But, not right now.”

Keith nodded softly, he shifted over to sit next to the unusually quiet boy, and mimicked his position.

“Do you think people really change, Keith?”

After a moment of silence, he answered. “I think people can grow, and learn. I think you can always try your best to be a better person, to do the most with your life. People don’t exactly  _ change _ , but…they kinda become other people entirely.”

“What do you mean?” Lance cocked his head to the side, facing the other boy.

“ _ Well _ , everyday, we live a different version of ourselves. I’m not who I was yesterday, and tomorrow, I won’t be who I am today. Change isn’t really about us, but who we can become.”

Lance smiled and Keith’s stomach did somersaults. “You really are psychological.”

Keith giggled, “Did you mean philosophical?” 

Lance pushed a laughing Keith away playfully, hiding his wide smile as the raven haired boy swung back up.

“You know, you’re a pretty okay guy Keith Kogane.” 

“Just okay?” he teased.

“Fine. Mediocre, at best.”

The two tried their best to cover their laughter against the stillness of the night, failing considerably. They stole looks at each other, smiling despite circumstance, in a sanctuary made entirely of pillows, a wool blanket, and the stars overhead. 

Someplace between sleep and awake, their hands found each other, intertwining as the boys slept soundly, with love on their minds and drunken hearts, unprepared for the days to come.

What they say is true.

_ It is always the most calm, right before the storm. _

 

 


	18. Cafune (n.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cafune (n.) - the act of running your fingers through your lover's hair.

"So about that  _haircut_  of yours..." Lance squinted at Keith through messy bangs, his bedhead sticking out in every direction.  
They all had taken their sweet time getting up, all except Shiro, who was trying not to burn down the kitchen making eggs, humming along to a song on the radio as Matt sat on the kitchen counter, scrolling through his phone. Pidge was no where to be found, which Matt didn't seem to worry about ("OH NO YOUR MOM'S GONNA KILL US" "Calm your tits Shiro she can handle herself, beside she can't have gone  _too_  far.")  
Keith was sitting across from Lance, rubbing his eyes, "Are you still stuck on my hair? What's so wrong with it?"  
"Hon, it's a  _mullet."_  
 _"_ It's useless Lance," Shiro walked in, holding two plates full with slightly burnt omelettes, "I've tried everything, he just won't listen to reason."  
"Like you have any room to talk," Keith grabbed his plate aggressively, "Have you seen your hair? What are you? Some sort of anime character?"  
Matt giggled, dropping his spoon back into his bowl of cereal after Shiro smacked him in the back of his head.  
"Oh! Your prosthetic hurts..." Matt mumbled, despite smiling to himself.  
"Whatever, you know Allura can cut hair, like really well? She can probably do it for you. In fact, I'll call her right now!" Lance said, rushing to retrieve his phone.  
"Lance sit back down and finish your eggo." Keith deadpanned.   
Lance groaned, obeying order but being extra dramatic as he walked back, purposely bumping into everything. His show stopped short with the sound of keys jingling and the front door opening up.  
"I'm back! Lance you better have saved me an eggo!" Pidge's voice rang through the house, but they were not alone.  
"Did someone say eggos? Man I'm starving!" A familiar voice spoke out, but Keith had not identified it until Lance shrieked happily.  
"HUNK!" Lance jumped into the bigger man's arms, whom dropped his bags at once, seemingly accustomed to the act.  
"Yo, I brought your stuff, man you had me worried. I told you not to drink too much, and to always text me before your phone died, and to charge it  _before_  you leave the house..."  
"Okay  _mom_." Lance jumped off gracefully, walking towards the kitchen to grab some cereal.  
Pidge, whom had halfway finished Lance's eggo, was currently browsing through their phone.  
"Hey, we need to run by work early today, Allura says the electricity's gone haywire again." Pidge told Hunk, whom nodded quickly before digging into the bowl of cereal Lance has handed him.  
"Ooo can I come?" Lance asked, eyes lighting up.  
"Shouldn't you be, I don't know, super hungover?" Keith asked, wondering about the boy who easily bounced back on his feet after barely being able to stand hours before.   
"Don't worry. This happens  _alot_." Pidge stated.  
"Too much honestly." Hunk sighed, "Oh Lance, I brought you clothes to change into and some of your other stu-"  
Lance didn't wait for Hunk to finish before grabbing the bags to scoop through. "Yes! My hair straightener. I'll just get ready and we can go! Keith, you coming?"  
"Nah I'm good."

 

* * *

 

 

"I cannot believe you forced me to come with you." Keith muttered, walking alongside Lance towards the front door. Lance was wearing a blue top that revealed a bit of midriff, paired with navy blue shorts that revealed his long legs, which was killing Keith, because ' _holy shit this could_ _ **not**_ _be legal.'_  
"Ugh shut it you big baby. You can write about it later." Lance winked, grinning deviously. Keith tried to keep a disappointed face despite the blush creeping on his neck.  
In hindsight, Keith probably wasn't gonna write at home, more or less procrastinate while scrolling through Instagram or binge watch The Walking Dead for the tenth time- but  _Lance_  didn't know that. "I can't write with you around."  
"Why? My beauty too distracting for you?" Lance smiled radiantly, opening the door for his shorter friend.  
' _Yes you asshole_ ' "No your pores are just huge."  
Lance gasped audibly, following a laughing Keith to the pool.  
It didn't take long for Lance rip off his shirt and jump into the water, Keith hesitantly following after.  
They met in the middle of the pool, water swaying in between them. Lance was first to break the silence.  
"Bet I can hold my breathe longer than you."   
"You're on."  
They delved underwater, Keith opening his eyes to find a pair of blue ones staring directly into his own.  
If Keith hadn't been holding his breath so tightly, Lance would have stolen it. But instead, they stared intently, holding a passage of unsaid words within their two feet gap.

A gap Lance was slowly closing.

The slight push of his foot, and Lance's lips were no longer alone.  
He didn't remember what it was like to kiss someone like this, after so long in a one sided romance, after never being enough for anyone, after dealing with every feeling in the urban dictionary, he was finally kissing someone  _for real_. No dares. No peer pressure. Just Keith. Beautiful, awkward, angsty Keith.  
Lance, for the first time, in a long time, was no longer alone.  
And his heart decided, right then and there, in a sea of raven black hair and pale skin, he was gonna stay that way.

 

* * *

 

Keith's brain was failing him.  
His hands seemed to move on their own, trailing Lance's arms and through his hair.  
Keith had never loved the colour blue more than when his lips were decorating Lance's.  
Beautiful, endearing, dorky Lance.  
The boy who he never wanted to fall for and did, the boy who did  _everything_  to make the world smile, the boy who cared  _so_ ,  _damn, much._  
The boy who stole his heart, with no intent of ever giving it back.  
' _Take it..._ ' Keith's hands whispered. ' _I'm yours.'_

 

* * *

 

"You cheated." Keith muttered, his wet hair failing to cover his loud blush.  
"Go again?" Lance couldn't stop smiling.  
Keith splashed water forward, taking the other boy by surprise. "Hey!"   
The shorter boy grabbed Lance's head downward, minimizing their height gap so there lips could meet.  
Lance laughed, wrapping his arms around Keith's neck, which seemed to permanently blush.  
The world was not always kind to Keith.  
He'd faced trials and tribulations, trying to make the most of life, and he could swear,  _everything was trying to kill him._  
Keith writes to save himself. Every word to capture a feeling, to heal a heart, to keep him, well... _him_.  
But right now? There was a boy who was kissing him back, with all the sparks of stars on his lips.  
Keith didn't need words for that.  
Just time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *deep breathe* okAY SO I'M NOT DEAD  
> I've been traveling this whole summer which has been A MA ZING but it's put this fic on a slight hiatus );  
> weLL IM GONNA TRY AND UPDATE AGAIN SOON!!! And maybe drop another chapter bomb since that panned out well last time ^_^ anyways, I've missed you all SO much...  
> Thanks for being the best, and for dealing with my terrible friendship and writing ~♡ Tan ♡


	19. Induratize (v.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Induratize (v.) - to harden one's heart to another's plea for love

"What do you  _mean_  you don't wanna go out with me?"

"Lance, for the last time, it's not like that."

The two boys, after their certain episode in the swimming pool, had been hanging out nonstop for the past week, and currently were lounging in Keith's living room. They had kept their little moment to themselves, but Lance was never good with secrets- every waking moment he felt like a balloon being pushed under a steam truck, just seconds away from ripping out the whole truth- just a picture, or a text, and the whole world would know, just like that- it'd be  _so simple_. I mean, he's always been super public with relationships before, why not this one?

Well for one thing, his partner in mind, Keith Akira Kogane, was the biggest social hermit he'd ever met. Who would think that  _Lance Mclain_ , the dramatic, over the top, party animal, would fall for  _Keith_ , the boy who cried for three days when MCR broke up, the boy who happened to be the living embodiment of Nico di Angelo, the boy who could mold words like clay and make them his own, the boy who was sitting across from him with the fondest smile he'd ever seen, and Lance's heart was breaking just from the sight.

And the other thing, arguably the most important, the thing that had been protruding Lance's mind for the past week, is: after all that flirting, all that drama, after  _everything_  they had been through...

_Keith didn't want a relationship._

And Lance, the boy who carried Keith's world on his shoulders, who was smiling, laughing along to every line falling out of pink tinted lips he missed, was trying  _so hard_ to be okay with that.

But Lance could feel himself falling, hard. And he knew that when his heart collides with the ground, it was gonna take a lot more than a couple drinks to fix it.   
  


~

Keith was shielding a war behind his eyes, disorientation and fear crowded with a sense of longing so muddled he could barely see, questions shooting through his mind like arrows without a target. He hadn't been  _this_  confused since he was figuring out his sexuality. 

Did he like Lance? Hell yes. He'd been pining for his ass ever since they'd met, and Keith had practically died when he realized his feelings were actually  _reciprocated_. But that was just it. Keith was all too familiar with the 'oh I like him but he has no idea so I'm just going to ignore it until my feelings eventually go away or swallow me whole' scenario, one that's reoccured quite often throughout his life; but all this? Whole nother story. 

Internally, there was a part of Keith that just wanted to say 'fuck it' and finally start dating again, leave it to faith, fall for Lance even harder and hope for the best. But Keith was a realist, and he and Lance were  _so different._ Who  _knows_ how bad this could end? He didn't want to fuck things up, he could sacrifice his feelings, if it meant he could spare the both of them in the long run. 

Couldn't he?  
  


~

"Hey, I've been thinking..." Lance sat up against the couch, arms hugging each other as he caught Keith's attention. 

"Yeah?"

"Well, Shay is hosting a party tonight..." Lance smiled softly, "Since spring break is coming up and stuff..."

"Okay. Are you gonna go?" Keith's eyes flickered, closing his phone he'd been scrolling through to the side.

"Well, yeah...I was wondering if you might, I don't know, come with me?" Lance leaned forward slightly, silently waiting.

"As a date?" Keith asked, staring blankly.

"Yes! I mean no, well..." Lance took a breathe, "whatever you want."

Keith felt his heart sink, Lance had been joking about dating for a while now, but this was  _genuine_. How was he supposed to tell him now? That he hasn't dated since high school? That he wasn't ready for  _all this_? 

Lance was so... _positive_. Like sure, he was obnoxious and overly dramatic half the time, but he  _means well_. He always looks out for his friends, and he tries  _so_  hard. If they were ever a couple, Keith didn't think he could handle it. Lance would probably want to go completely public, he'd probably spam his social media with them all the time, go on a bunch of meticulously planned dates, adopt some weird animal, cook together- hell, Lance probably  _directs_  couples' yoga.

And it wasn't like Keith didn't  _want_  that. He wanted nothing more than for Lance to give him weird pet names, pester him about his lack of a proper skin routine, make him laugh when he's supposed to be infuriated. Lance would make Keith  _so happy._

_'But I could never do that for him...'_

In all possible outcomes of their possible relationship, Keith could see it ending two ways.

One, it all ends in complete chaos- that's the one he's specifically trying to avoid.

Or two, Lance ends up being the best thing to ever happen to him....

....But Lance doesn't feel the same.

Keith knew that he couldn't be Lance's dream guy. He wasn't outgoing, or super funny. If Lance wanted to go out, Keith would hold him back. If Lance wanted to cook together, Keith would burn the house down. If Lance wanted to wear matching outfits, he would have to accept never wearing another colour lighter than pitch black ever again.

Lance loved PDA, Keith loved intimacy.

Lance loved parties and the beach, Keith loved movie nights and pajamas.

Lance was detail oriented. Keith was impulsive.

Lance was like blue; calm, collected, full of life. Keith burned red; passionate, uncontrollable, full of light. 

And in a relationship, they were  _bound_  to clash. 

The way Keith saw it, he had two options. He could either give in, and pay the price later when it burns up in flames.  **Or** , save them both the trouble.

Keith sighed.

~

"So just like that, he said no?" Hunk held a drink in one hand, as he patted his friend with the other. It felt good to be able to comfort his friends, even if it was just a little. And right now? Lance looked pretty down. So he and Pidge took him out here, onto the beach, just an hour before the party starts, so they could look at the stars and talk it out. It's always helped before, and Hunk didn't feel like one to break tradition. 

"Maybe he's just having a mood." Pidge suggested, trying to cheer their friend up. The three of them sat nestled close

"Nah, he seemed serious. Said that we were too different, that we couldn't make each other happy."

"You two  _seemed_  happy. Are you sure he wasn't just confused?" Hunk asked.

 _"No, Hunk._ **I** _was happy, I'm obviously not enough for him if he doesn't want to be with me. A guy like him could be with anybody, so why settle for Lance McLoser?"_ Lance choked, his voice cracking with pain between each syllable. He buried his head into his knees in a fetal position, toes curling for the sand beneath them.

"Woah woah." Hunk and Pidge shot straight up, discomfort tugging at their chests. Lance was always on the more sensitive side, and seeing him be anything less than cocky and smartass worried them deeply.

"You're gonna win him over Lance, trust us. You two are perfect for eachother. Keith just needs a little reminder." Pidge unlocked their phone with a sly look on their face, which would've worried Hunk if he hadn't been so desperate to make Lance feel better.

"How about we get you inside huh? You could have some icecream and welcome the guests when they arrive!" Hunk smiled sweetly.

"dyohavbeandjeris...." Lance mumbled.

"Ben and Jerry's? Yup! I have a secret stash in the freezer. Why don't you come inside and pick for yourself?"

Lance stretched out his arms and Hunk carried him to Shay's house, Pidge following closely behind, texting furiously. 

When they got into the house, Shay was setting out the food. She was a tall girl with light, hazel eyes and tan, skin. Her hair was cut into this short bob, hoop earrings dangling from her ears. She wore a loose, military green dress, that exposed her arms, which were affected most from her eczema. Her service dog, Balmera, who has been with Shay since birth (due to her partial blindness), was following her back and forth through the kitchen, making sure she didn't hurt herself or fall.. Her dog ears perked up when Hunk's voice ran through the house.

"Hey Shay! I'm coming in, alright? I brought Lance and Pidge and we're getting some food."

"Oh hi guys!" Shay waved in the wrong direction, eyes staring blankly yet full of love.

"Wrong way, babe." Hunk chuckled, crossing over to peck her on the forehead before reaching to the freezer.

"Ooo you three! Try some of the food I made! Rax bought me this new vegan cookbook and I used some of the recipes! Have some!" Shay smiled happily, which the three couldn't turn down.

"Isn't she just the best?" Hunk smiled fondly as he watched Shay scurry around the kitchen, Balmera howling in concern when she tampered with the stove.

Lance only nodded, offering a warm smile despite the pain in his eyes. He stuffed his mouth with ice cream, hoping it'd melt past his throat and reach his chest, freezing his heart over.

All it really did was give him a brain freeze, as if his thoughts weren't already frozen with the image of black eyelashes fluttering against his freckled skin. 

Black hair against ocean wind.

Life's a ride, come take a spin.

Blue's broken.

Red wins.

 

~

"Where's Lance?" Shiro came back from work, expecting to see the two boys together like usual. But instead, it was just his brother, watching a movie.

"Out." Keith answered promptly, digging through the bag of trail mix on his lap.

Shiro nodded, pulling out his phone to find seventeen text messages from Pidge. In it, they included a mass of images insinuating that if he didn't talk to his brother soon, then they would personally come and wreck havoc onto their household. 

Shiro gulped, Pidge was not one of empty threats.

He glanced at the T.V. Keith's eyes were glued to.

La La Land.

This was worst than Shiro had thought.

"Hey, buddy. Wanna talk?"

"Fuck off. Gosling's about to tap dance."

"Gosling can wait." Shiro shut the T.V. off, ignoring the death glares Keith directed at him.

"What the hell was that-"

"It's about Lance." Shiro stated soundly, mentally noting the falter in Keith's expression.

"What about him?" Keith muttered.

"Pidge told me he asked you out."

Keith gapped before Shiro cut him off. "Don't deny it. You like him, and he obviously likes you too."

The shorter boy averted his eyes, "So?"

" _So_ , I wanna know what fucked up logic you used to figure this one out,  _genius_." Shiro deadpanned.

Keith bit his cheek, Shiro didn't cuss him out often, considering he was supposed to be the older, mature one, so he was probably  _pretty_  upset about Keith's decision to turn Lance down. But he felt like he  _had_  made the right choice. 

Didn't he?

"This boy  _cares_  about you Keith. Do you know how much I've  _wanted this for you_? How much you should want it for  _yourself_? Lance is a  _good guy_ , Keith. Give him a chance. Grow a sack and stop shutting people out because you're so scared about every little thing that could go wrong. This could go  _so right_..." Shiro sighed, "But you'll never know unless you  _try_."

Keith felt his body weigh down, was it too late to turn this story around? He got up, shedding layers of fear and letting his impulse get the better of him.

He pulled out his phone.

"You have (one) new voicemail."

Keith staggered back, confused but curious. He clicked on the message and brought the phone to his ear.

_"Hey, it's Lance..."_

Keith held his breathe.

_"...listen, man. I'm sorry for saying this but I, I um..."_

Lance sighed into the speaker and Keith could feel goosebumps prickle his skin.

_"I miss you..."_

Keith gulped.

_"It's stupid, because I just saw you, I know. But, shit man, I miss you..."_

Keith sat back down onto the couch, letting the words surround him.

_"....I miss thinking we had a chance. And stop fucking around Keith, **we still do**. I know we do...I just really want an excuse to kiss you again. So if you could get your ass over here, I mean, that'd be convenient..."_

Keith giggled, surprised to find tears in his eyes.

_"...you're so **perfect** , Keith. You're so good at everything and beautiful and soft and I like you so damn much,  **it hurts**. I wish I could be more for you. You deserve more than what I have. But, I'm all I got..."_

Lance's voice cracked through the phone, ripping Keith's heart apart. He sounded like he could be crying, and shit, Keith sure was. He listened closer, if Lance was gonna break his heart like this, might as well let him finish the job.

_"...but I'd give you all of me. I swear to the stars Keith, I'd give you everything I am. Can you let me do that? Can you let me be with you?..."_

Keith took a shaky breathe.

"... _because I'd rather be with you in pieces...than be missing you whole..."_

Keith couldn't keep listening to this, he wanted to rip the phone off his ear, to rush onto his bike, and race to the other side of town to kiss a certain blue eyed boy with the force of Zeus himself. But he needed to keep listening, to keep breaking. Just a little longer.

_"I mean it. I really do. I want you to shatter me completely, I wanna be broken by you as many times as you'll allow me to because if you break me, at least I know I'm still yours to break. I'm just a boy from Cuba, but Keith, I....I love you."_

 

~

Keith didn't even remember bolting out the door. 

But the next thing he knew, he was on his bike, racing to the other side of town with his heartbeat enough to carry the bass of a thousand marching bands, and Keith could feel the trumpet in his head as clearly as the voice singing to it. 

_"I love you."_

Three words. Enough to change the world. 

And Keith felt like he was on the edge of the galaxy, making his way home.

Lance was his Atlas.

Carrying the world with ease and smile dancing across his face, his eyes are just a reflection of the invisible world above him. 

Keith has never felt like this before.

Lance had the ability to unlock emotions Keith didn't know he had. It was like Keith was a chest, and Lance was born with a universal key.

And just like that, he had his heart.

 

~

Keith was finally here.

He flew up the steps with the ease of Hermes, and as he rang the doorbell, he couldn't differentiate between the chime of the house or the chime in his head. 

He didn't care. It all sounded the same. The music, the conversation, it all blended into a background stew that was just _in his way_.

He came here for one reason alone.

To make things right.

He felt his smile widen so hard his dimples hurt, with just the thought of finally being with Lance.

Getting to kiss him whenever he wanted.

He was years deep in college debt, how could he afford such a luxury?

He thought it was best to save the questions for later.

Right now, he wasn't craving answers.

Just a boy to call his own.

And with that, he spotted a tuft of soft, brown hair. He shed a thousand layers of doubt and worry and fear all at once, and wondered how one boy could do  _so much_.

And then it all came crashing down.

The world was silent.

There were no bells.

No chimes.

No trumpets.

The three words that sung through his head were now screeching.

They no longer had the force that electrocuted him so vividly before. 

Keith was numb. His eyes wouldn't stop crying, and he couldn't move his legs. Every system made inside of him was now at a halt.

The only thing in motion was the scene in front of him.

Just a blue eyed boy. 

With his tongue down another boy's throat.

 


	20. Nepenthe (n.)

Lance had way too much to drink.

Someone had definitely spiked the orange juice because no way in hell would Shay or Hunk allow him to have alcohol right now...I mean, where  _else_  would this buzzing feeling be coming from?

 _Okay_ , so it wasn't so much the drink, but he had a lot on his mind, there was so much going on that he didn't understand, so many feelings he never realized he had.

Ugh,  _feelings_.

It wasn't like he was  _trying_  to confess everything to Keith all at once, but he was in such an off mood, and whoever left him alone with his phone was obviously not thinking straight.

Not that Lance was either.

I mean, it was supposed to be just a text. Simple, short and sweet, nice text. A "hey what's up" would've  _perfectly_  sufficed.

But Lance hit the call button, regretting the entirety of the last twenty-four hours of his life as he began speaking to a monotone answering machine.

The "alcohol" was giving him an adrenaline rush he could  _not_  deal with, and the next thing he knew, he was running off on a tangent about every single thing he loved about raven black hair and stone eyes.

Ugh, Lance hated himself.

He hated how sensitive he was, he hated that he needed approval to feel good about himself, he hated how  _dependent_  he was on everyone else.

_'Why do I have to be so much to handle?'_

No wonder Keith didn't like him back.

And now, Lance was gonna scare him off, and he might never see him again.

He choked, he didn't even think about that part. What if he scares off Keith so bad that they couldn't even  _be friends_  anymore. And if it wasn't bad enough already, with Lance spurting every movie cliche he had ever heard and shooting out the most cheesy garbage that has probably ever come to existence, he had to go and drop the _L-bomb_ _._

Lance hit the end call immediately after the words left his mouth like stones hurled at full force, he wanted them back, he wanted to relapse with his unpublished words still sitting on his tongue, the weight would have burn a hole through his mouth, but anything was better than  _this_.

And the worst of all, the grand finale of this ongoing disaster, was that he  _meant it._

He meant every broken syllable and run on sentence and misplaced pause and it.

He meant it so badly that Lance couldn't do anything but sit in the stillness of the kitchen and wait until the others arrived to break through the bubble, so he could put on a brave face. So he could pretend that nothing ever happened.

And hope that Keith would do the same.

~

"I don't think I've ever seen you this upset before." A sly voice creeped up to the brown haired boy like a fox creeping onto its prey, eyes locked in place.

Lance looked up, eyes trailing a boy with dark skin and eyes that shone almost like violet. He was tall, especially now, looming over Lance, who was sitting in the corner of the kitchen. But asides from the strong jawline and angular nose, his most striking feature was probably his stark white hair, pulled into a loose ponytail, cascading down his left shoulder.

"I-uh, don't know what you mean." Lance smiled easily, pulling a curtain over his thoughts.

The other boy scoffed, obviously not buying the act. "Lance, I know you. You probably don't know me because I tend to stay lowkey  _but_ I've seen you at every one of these parties. And at everyone of these, you're exactly the same. You smile and laugh and pretend everything is cool and  _then_ , when you think no one is looking, you falter. Seriously, what is up with you?"

Lance stared, gaping at words to explain everything, how the fuck did everything lead to this? Where did it even start?

"Well, I was in a bad relationship for a while..."

~

"He sounds like a bitch to me."

They two had somehow migrated to the living room, leaning against the wall side by side while they watched the party dance without them.

"Lotor, stop. He isn't like that." Lance jumped to Keith's defense immediately, he had caught Lotor up with everything that was going on, and he wasn't afraid to give Lance his honest opinion- which Lance  _did_ appreciate, even though his opinions were sorta.. _.mean_.

"Come on Lance. He obviously doesn't like you. I mean, he didn't even want to come with you to this lameass party." Lotor gestured around the room, the scene filled with dancing and Katy Perry and solo cups filled with  _orange juice_.

"Hey, shut it. Shay and Hunk have great parties." He took a proud swig of his orange juice as he watched the couple dance in the corner. The two swayed to pop music as Balmera, Shay's dog, circled around them. The whole act was adorable, really, and Lance smiled fondly at his friends.

"Aw, you always defend your friends. It's  _so cute_." Lotor's accent rolled with each line, and Lance was having trouble telling whether or not he was being sarcastic.

"Uh, thanks, I think." Lance smiled awkwardly. His face soon went blank as he noticed Lotor moving steadily closer to him.

"You know, maybe it would be better for the both of you if you just moved on..." Lotor stated at almost a whisper, a finger curling a strand of Lance's hair.

"I, um- don't know." Lance coughed, avoiding the other's eyes.

"Well then, find out.." Lotor pulled Lance's chin towards him before placing their lips together.

It was such a subtle motion.

Almost like nothing.

And Lance had no idea why he didn't break away immediately, why he didn't push away, why, why, why, why.....

He just let Lotor keep kissing him.

And he didn't stop then.

And he didn't stop now.

Even with broken stone eyes staring at him with a flood of tears rushing his direction.

Lance learned to drown.

And he wasn't gonna make it.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! My name is Tan and I absolutely adore Klance and so I thought, why not write a fic? This is my first actual fanfiction so I apologize for any cringe, cliches, and other embarrassing speech that this story might include lmao  
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy this story and stay a while, I'll do my best to update as often as possible! Thanks! ~Tan ♡


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